For two weeks now, I've been trying to gain the Observation and Stealth skills, but sadly, with no results. It's not like I've gotten nothing—there have been some useful gains, and some not so much—but I haven't gotten what I actually need. Honestly, I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. I'm doing everything like everyone else, but there's either no result or not the one I want. Take Observation, for example. The usual way people get it is by sitting and staring at an object or person, and bam—skill created through action.
I followed the advice to the letter, sitting and staring at a scroll in front of me for hours, and still got nothing. Even the system stayed silent on the matter, ignoring my requests. So, after some serious thought about why I was getting screwed over, I concluded that I already know everything about the scroll and other things I tried to use for this skill. That means I need an unfamiliar object—but that's where I hit a major snag.
I had nowhere to get such things, so I gave up on that idea. Why bother searching for random objects when the village is full of unfamiliar people I can use to gain the skill? Plus, I could combine it with getting another extremely useful—and absolutely necessary for my genius, devious plan—skill: Stealth or Invisibility.
After digging deeper into the auction and forum, I was a bit disappointed. Even if I buy skills, I still need skill points to activate them. Simple abilities require just one or two points, but the cooler stuff needs way more. For example, Cero from the Bleach world costs 700,000 SD, plus 50 skill points to activate. Even if I hoard points and don't spend them on anything, I won't be able to activate it before level 100—unless I get super lucky with quest rewards.
Soul Crystals are tricky too. When I pulled the crystal I'd earned from my inventory and examined it, I got excited at first, thinking I'd gained Observation. There was a label above it: "Soul Crystal* Level 11." My joy didn't last long—until I tried identifying something else and failed. But the fact that the crystal had a level intrigued me. After a long search on the forum, I learned that crystals have a grading system. Levels 1 to 10 are Minor Soul Crystals, 11 to 20 are standard, and above 20, things change drastically. A level 25 crystal, for instance, is worth five crystals of levels 11 to 20.
It's a complicated and convoluted evaluation system. The difference only grows after levels 50 and 100, and then there are named Soul Crystals—that's a whole other story. But I think this system makes sense. If you kill a random peasant and get a crystal, or manage to take down Madara and get the same thing, that'd be lame. This way, the higher the enemy's level, the higher the crystal's level, and the more you can get for it.
I couldn't find why crystals from levels 11 to 20 are the standard unit of payment. But that's when I came up with my genius plan.
Back to my not-so-successful attempts to gain these skills—since I couldn't find a guide on the forum, I kept relying on my own knowledge from fanfics and similar books. But I hit another wall. I watched people from the shadows of buildings or dark alleys, trying to unlock Observation by staring intently at passersby while sitting in the darkest corners.
The skill refused to unlock, despite all my efforts. It wasn't completely fruitless, though—I did get something. On the third day of my struggles, the system rewarded me with another useless skill.
Param-pam-pam.
Congratulations!!!
Skill created through action: "Irritating Stare" – Level MAX.
"Irritating Stare":
Causes the target to feel mild unease, intense irritation, and a desire to beat your face in.
The skill's effectiveness was proven in practice: a broken nose and a black eye under my left eye, courtesy of a fight with some kids I'd been staring at while trying to unlock Observation. But I was too quick to call the skill useless. The ability to drive anyone to a boiling rage just by looking at them is worth a lot. I used it on shopkeepers who refused to sell to me or jacked up prices ridiculously.
I'd stand about a hundred meters from the shop, where I could see the target, and stare intently. After about five minutes, their nerves would give out, and they'd come charging to rearrange my face, ignoring everything else. Naturally, I didn't just stand there like a statue. As soon as I saw they'd reached their limit, I'd bolt. The hundred-meter head start and obstacles like counters gave me a chance to escape—but not always.
Thanks to these desperate sprints, I raised my Speed by 2 points, and Dexterity and Stamina by 1 each. Sure, they caught me sometimes, but they didn't beat me too badly—no broken bones, at least. Bruises and scrapes healed quickly on their own. So I turned this into a weird sort of training, doing it once every couple of days.
Hanging out in dark corners had its consequences too. At first, nothing major—just the system occasionally notifying me of an increase in my Darkness affinity, by a tenth of a percent each time, but pretty often. Once it hit 3.5%, the growth stopped.
But that's not the main thing. While I was hiding in a dark alley behind a dumpster, trying to avoid the owner of a butcher shop I'd been messing with using my new skill—and apparently overdid it, because he came after me with a cleaver in hand—I got serious. He was fast for his size, and I had no desire to test whether he'd actually use that cleaver, so I hid. As I pressed myself into the darkest part of the corner, hoping he wouldn't notice me, the system chimed in.
Param-pam-pam.
Congratulations!!!
You've gained the skill "Immersion into the Deep Shadow Plane" – Level 1.
"Immersion into the Deep Shadow Plane":
You can immerse yourself in the deep shadow plane and move between shadows through it.
When I read and realized what I'd gotten, I bolted out of that alley with a joyful shout. Turns out, that was a mistake—the butcher hadn't gone far enough yet. He didn't turn me into mincemeat, but he sure made a cutlet out of me.
The new skill fit so perfectly into my genius plan that I could already see mountains of SD and millions of experience points coming my way. But the lack of Observation and Stealth was ruining everything. After two weeks of struggling with no results, I started begging the system for those skills. To make it understand how important and necessary they were, I explained my genius plan. It was brilliant, and like all brilliant things, simple. With Observation, I'd identify a target I could handle. With Stealth, I'd sneak up unnoticed, kill them, and leave the same way. With the ability to move between shadows, I could infiltrate anywhere. This way, I'd farm experience, earn SD, and exact my revenge. But instead of giving me the skills I desperately needed, the system gave me this…
Param-pam-pam.
Congratulations!!!
You've completed a hidden quest.
Devise a "GENIUS PLAN" for gaining power and wealth.
Reward: Beyond-Level Artifact.
P.S.
Use as intended.
I was so thrilled that I immediately checked my inventory to see what I'd gotten. My joy didn't last long—only until I saw what it was. I'd received a Lip-Rolling Machine. I didn't even get a chance to express my full "gratitude" for such an "artifact."
I hate the Moon.
But after sitting and thinking it over, I had to admit I'd gotten a bit too carried away. No, I'm not doubting my ability to kill without issue, and the plan itself is totally doable. But when I made the plan, I didn't account for the fact that the police here are Uchiha, who are way better than our regular cops, and I don't even know how they track criminals. I might be able to cover up fingerprints, shoe prints, and other evidence like that, but what about things I don't even know about?
Thinking about it now, I realized they could track me down by scent alone—there's a whole clan of trackers here. Even if I manage to hide all traces leading to me, they've got the Edo Tensei technique. They'll raise the dead guy and ask, "Hey, buddy, who killed you?" and then I'm screwed. Well, not really—I'm already screwed, always have been. But still, it wouldn't end well for me.
Intelligence +1
Wisdom +1
Intuition +1
Ugh, there's a bad trend forming here—all my sensible ideas come to me while I'm in the bathroom. I won't abandon the plan, though—I'll just push back its execution until after I graduate from the academy. By then, I can learn more about tracking methods and covering my tracks. Plus, the Uchiha won't be around anymore. Alright, enough making plans in the bathroom, or gods forbid, the system gives me another achievement.
Param-pam-pam.
Congratulations!!!
You've earned the achievement "Toilet Sage."
"Toilet Sage":
+15% chance to gain an epiphany while in the bathroom.
While in the bathroom: Intelligence, Wisdom, and Intuition +5.
— *#$@%…
I only got out of the bathroom after five hours. The debuff got worse, and four more hours were added to the remaining time. Is it a full moon tonight or something? But as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. During that time, I came up with a few good ideas and thought through my next steps.
First, I need to work on improving my physical stats. My run-ins with the village kids showed I'm far from a Superman—very far. Second, I need to focus on gaining experience; new levels won't hurt. Quests and illusory barriers should help with that. But to set up barriers, I need to find a suitable spot, or I might end up with level 200 mobs. That leads to the third point: I need to thoroughly explore the village. Besides finding good spots, I might stumble across something useful—like Orochimaru's secret lab or an Uzumaki district under a protective barrier. And finally, fourth: figure out chakra and its control, practice immersing in the shadow plane, and increase my elemental affinities.
Elemental affinities were relatively straightforward. From my experience with Darkness, I figured out that the more you interact with an element, the higher your affinity gets. For Water, Earth, Wind, and Light, it's not too hard—stand in the wind, swim longer, sunbathe, or lie down covered in dirt. But Lightning and Fire are a problem. I'm not exactly eager to shock myself or stick my hands in a fire. As for increasing my affinity with Death, the ideas I had were downright idiotic. For Life and Chaos, I didn't even have bad ideas.
Another issue was with quests—or rather, their complete absence. I can't get any from the villagers; they've only got one quest for me: "Go somewhere and die, demon." The system hasn't given me anything either. So all my hopes are on illusory barriers.
Well, I've got a plan of action—now I just need to put it into motion.
Danzo Shimura was in his office, reviewing reports and documents, including those on the jinchuriki's surveillance. These were the ones causing him the most headaches as the head of Root. The jinchuriki's strange, sometimes downright erratic behavior was concerning. Especially the fact that he talked to himself or sat motionless for long periods with a vacant stare.
But the specialists who compiled the psychological profile claimed that for a reclusive loner his age, this behavior wasn't far from normal. Other oddities—like mentioning nonexistent people, a strong hatred for the Moon, and muttering some nonsensical string of sounds—were attributed to a conflict between the mental triggers placed by Hiruzen's subordinates.
Reading the reports, Danzo was astonished: 90% of what the jinchuriki said was pure profanity, 7% was meaningless muttering, and only the remaining 3% was normal speech.
His most vivid and lengthy tirades were dedicated to the Moon. Imagine cursing out the Moon for half an hour without repeating a single phrase. Even in what passed for his diary, his dream was to destroy the Moon. What had the Moon ever done to him?
One particularly thorough subordinate suggested that these profane tirades might be some kind of code.
Now that's an interesting idea—assign an unreliable agent to deliver scrolls with these tirades under the guise of secret reports, then leak their location to the enemy. It'd eliminate an unreliable element through enemy hands and confuse the enemy at the same time.
With that decision made, Shimura summoned a subordinate and gave the appropriate orders.
Meanwhile, for the next two weeks, Naruto racked his brain trying to figure out how he could've pissed off Botsume Konotori from Kumogakure so badly that his reputation with him dropped daily until it hit pure hatred.
And Botsume Konotori, a worker in the cryptography department, spent each day sending increasingly vicious curses at the creator of this profanity-laced code