Chapter 17: Landlord's "Expert" with Zero Expertise
After I stood there soaked and defeated, the landlord inspected the flooded compound with the seriousness of a United Nations peacekeeper.
He didn't say much.
He just nodded like a village chief preparing to give judgment.
Then he brought out his phone, dialed a number, and said:
"Bring Kwabena. Tell am come fix the pipe. Sharp."
I perked up.
Finally! A real expert was coming!
30 minutes later, a guy in oversized jeans, slippers two sizes too big, and a singlet that had seen the Civil War walked in carrying a rusty bucket and... a machete?
I blinked.
"Umm... this is the plumber?"
The landlord smiled:
"Kwabena be multi-purpose. He fit fix anything."
Oh, okay.
A multi-purpose disaster was incoming.
Kwabena walked to the pipe, looked at it for a full 45 seconds, then said:
"You get super glue? Or maybe soap?"
Soap??
For a broken pipe??
I handed him a half-used super glue tube, praying for a miracle.
He poured it all over the leaking pipe like it was pepper sauce.
Then he said:
"Now we go wait make sun shine am. It go block the water."
But of course —
there was no sun.
Only thick clouds threatening another round of flooding.
While we waited, Kwabena sat on my bench, removed his slippers, and asked:
"You get gari? Small sugar too?"
Gari??
Sir, this is not a chop bar!
Still, I went inside, fetched some dry gari and sugar, and served him like he was royalty.
As he ate loudly, he gave commentary:
"Hmm... this pipe e no dey respect. But me I go show am pepper."
Meanwhile, the pipe continued to leak slowly —
as if it was laughing at both of us.
After eating, Kwabena stood up, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and said:
"The glue dey set. Give am 24 hours. If no work, then we go try cement."
Cement.
For a leaking pipe.
I gave up.
I smiled like someone being evicted gently.
As he packed his tools (which were mostly random wires and the machete), I whispered:
"Samuel... maybe the pipe is not the problem.
Maybe it's your destiny."
End of Chapter 17