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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1. Learning to See Myself

If I'm being honest, I don't even know where to start.

I'm Bernice Gawugah. Fifteen years old.

Shy. Soft-spoken. The type of girl who people sometimes forget is even there.

And maybe that's safer... because sometimes being noticed hurts more.

When I walk through the school corridors of Beverly Hills Senior High, I keep my head down.

Not because I'm scared exactly.

It's just easier that way — when you don't have to wonder who's staring at you. Or why.

There's something about me that people don't see at first.

I have breast asymmetry — a rare kind.

One side of my chest developed; the other never did.

When I was younger, I thought maybe it would catch up. That someday, I'd wake up and I would look "normal."

But it never happened.

Add to that — my right hand is underdeveloped.

The fingers are small, delicate, a little bent in ways that make strangers stare too long before pretending they weren't looking.

I learned early how to hide — long sleeves, jackets, careful poses.

I thought maybe if I could just stay quiet enough, still enough, nobody would notice.

But people always notice.

I know some girls with differences call themselves "superheroes" or "warriors" — and I admire them.

But if I'm being completely honest with you...

I don't feel like a warrior.

I don't feel powerful.

Most days, I just feel tired.

Tired of pretending not to care.

Tired of trying so hard to love a body that feels broken.

But still... I have dreams.

Big dreams.

One day, I want to stand in a courtroom — head high, voice steady — and fight for people who feel small, like me.

I want to be a lawyer.

I want to matter.

Maybe that's why I keep going.

Even when it hurts.

Today is the first day of a new term.

A fresh start, I guess.

Even though my heart feels heavy, a small part of me hopes...

Maybe this year, I'll finally stop hiding.

Maybe this year, I'll finally learn how to be seen — the real me — without being afraid.

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