The portal behind him crackled once, shuddered, and then spat him out like a piece of old gum.
Kim Byeol-ha stumbled forward, his black hair whipping around him like a cheap drama heroine in the middle of a breakup scene.He took a deep, heroic breath of Earth's air, ready to shout something cool like "I'm back!" —— and instantly collapsed into a fit of coughing.
"Hrk—ack— what the hell?!"
Clutching his throat dramatically, Byeol-ha staggered upright, hair sticking to his forehead, golden eyes watering.The air tasted like burnt rubber and bad decisions.It was supposed to be fresh, nostalgic, maybe a little dusty. Not... whatever this "chemical warfare" nonsense was.
He ran his hand through his long hair, flicking it back like a depressed shampoo model, and finally forced himself to look around properly.
And immediately regretted it.
Buildings stood like broken teeth against a bruised sky.The streets were cracked wide open, like some giant child had gotten angry and stomped on his toy city.Skeletons — real ones, not the Halloween decoration kind — littered the sidewalks like bad artwork.And the smell... God, the smell.
But worst of all were the moons.
Yes, moons.Plural.
Four huge spheres hung in the night sky like oversized marbles at a cosmic garage sale.One blue, one red, one orange, and one green.
Byeol-ha stared up at them blankly, hands in his pockets.
"...am I in the wrong save file?"He squinted harder."No. This is Earth. Definitely Earth. I recognize that pothole over there."
He scratched his cheek, squinting suspiciously at the moons again.
"I remember Earth having one cute little moon. White. Innocent. Looked like a rice cake."He jabbed a finger at the colorful chaos overhead."Now it's a damn rainbow factory! What, did someone install DLCs while I was gone?"
For a long moment, he stood there, seriously debating whether his Dad back in the other world had dropped him off at the wrong planet by accident.
He pulled out a battered communication talisman, tapped it. Nothing. Dead.
"Great," Byeol-ha muttered. "Dad's offline. Probably on a honeymoon with Father again. Priorities, right?"
Accepting his cruel fate with the grace of a man who had seen too much nonsense already, Byeol-ha turned toward the half-collapsed street.
At least he still recognized the area.It was where he'd vanished a thousand years ago.Maybe his old house still existed. Maybe his family too...
Hope flickered in his chest, warm and trembling.
And immediately died as he realized he had no idea which way was home.
"Ah. Right," he muttered. "Forgot about the side effects."
See, when you inherited blood from two divine beings — one who controlled Life and one who ruled Death — you didn't just get superpowers.
You also got their problems.
Specifically: Father's legendary inability to navigate even a straight road.
Byeol-ha wandered aimlessly through the ruined streets, doing excellent circles.
"Left. No, wait, right. No, definitely left. Definitely— oh look, same trash can again," he said, recognizing a squashed soda machine for the third time.
After half an hour of heroic wandering and no progress, Byeol-ha dramatically flopped onto a broken bench, chin in his hand.
"This is fine," he declared to no one. "I can live here now. I'll set up a nice cardboard box. Start a new empire. Call it Cardboardia."
His grand planning session was interrupted by a low, wet groaning sound.
Byeol-ha lifted his head lazily — and saw a horde of zombies shuffling down the street.
Rotting skin, twisted limbs, dead eyes.Textbook zombies.
And sprinting ahead of them — actual living humans!Tattered clothes, panicked faces, desperate screams.
Byeol-ha brightened up."Wow! Actual humans! I thought you all went extinct!"
He hopped off the bench and dusted himself off.
First impressions mattered, after all.
...but then he glanced down at his clothes.Tailored divine silk, stitched by ancient gods, shimmering faintly even in the dim light.
Yeah, no.
He looked like a final boss.These humans would probably try to exorcise him before saying hello.
With a lazy wave of his hand, his clothes shimmered and transformed into a beaten-up hoodie and ripped jeans.
"Perfect," he muttered, admiring the completely average look. "Now I blend in. Peak fashion."
He jogged over to the fleeing humans, hand raised in greeting.
"Hi!" he called out cheerfully.
Nobody answered.The humans ran harder, eyes wide in terror — not at the zombies but at him.
Byeol-ha blinked.
"Rude," he muttered. "I even put on normal people clothes for you guys."
Behind him, the zombies picked up his scent.Groaning louder, faster, angrier.
The air shimmered faintly around Byeol-ha, who sighed through his nose.
"You want a 'hi' too? Fine."
Without ceremony, he flicked two fingers toward the zombie horde.A soft pulse of energy — thin and almost invisible — blasted out.
The zombies collapsed mid-run, rotting into piles of ash with soft poofs.
Byeol-ha grinned, proud of himself.
Efficiency!Public service!Good citizen award, please!
But then, the air hit him again — thick, dirty, heavy — and he doubled over coughing.
"Hrk— hckkk—! Dammit!"
He wiped his mouth, grimacing.
"This place... It's dead," he said aloud.He reached out with his senses, extending his spiritual energy outward — only to find nothing.
No mana. No ley lines. No spirit veins.The very soul of Earth was dry, like a corpse rotting under four stupid disco moons.
He glared up at the sky.
"Who the hell left Earth unplugged while I was gone?!"
Silence answered.
Byeol-ha kicked a rock moodily, watching it bounce off a crumbling wall.
Fine. Whatever.He'd figure it out.
After all... he was the son of the God of Life and the God of Death.If he couldn't fix a broken world, who could?
And who will tell him why does he still not know the way and has gone even further from the spawn point?
Should he go back but going back and going nowhere is same...
Then let it go, he should just focus on finding a place to laze around since he is not a reliable person in his own eyes.
But first...
He rubbed his stomach, sighing deeply.
"Seriously, though... is there anything to eat around here?"