I was a loser…
From high school to being an adult, I was mocked and bullied. I was a no-life.
I had no future. I spent every day from high school till I was twenty-seven hoping. Yes, I was an atheist, not believing in God, but when you're down at the bottom, you look for something to hope towards. Every day as I tried falling asleep, I'd think, "Hey, if there are any Gods out there, just please show me a sign, like help me out in any way".
Did I get any answer? No. After doing it for a couple of years, it became a habit, and I just did it for fun. Actually, my life got a whole lot worse.
When I turned twenty-two, I was caught up in a stabbing. After experiencing pain all my life, physical and mental, I felt relief in that moment. At this point, I was done believing so, I just accepted my death…
As my eyes closed, I was ready for something, but I don't know what…
I hoped for death.
Was my wish granted? No. I woke up in a hospital. Now, instead of the relief of death, I was stuck in debt, with thousands in medical bills. This was the time I hated life the most.
After I got discharged from the hospital, I kept asking the same question;
Why am I alive?
That question just stuck with me. Instead of getting my wish, peace, I survived and was in an even worse spot. Since I wasn't at work for two months due to the stabbing, I lost my job. So I was jobless, had a shit ton of debt, and hated my life.
I had lost all hope. I lost hope in myself, humanity, or anything. I was lost. After this, I was sent to a mental clinic and was diagnosed with depression and antisocial disorder. I was a depressed sociopath.
I was a loser all my life, and now I was even worse than a loser.
Instead of praying for hope, I prayed to die. I just wanted peace.
Then my wish seemed to have been granted. After being released from the mental clinic, I was walking down the street. In reality, the antidepressants they gave me didn't work, and my mental state was in shambles. I did want to end it all, but something ignited in me once again, hope.
Well, obviously, luck isn't on my side. After I left the supermarket with groceries, I kept walking to my house until I got to the bridge, and what a surprise, a truck hit me, sending me flying off the bridge.
At this moment, I didn't know how to feel. Should I feel relief, sadness, regret, or all of them? To this day, I still don't know what I felt, and I'll probably never truly understand.
As I was about to hit the water, I closed my eyes and braced myself for eternal rest, or the afterlife…
As I hit the water, I felt nothing. No pain, no suffocation.
I heard a voice.
"Open your eyes, mortal."
I thought I was hallucinating, or this was what happens before death. But no, it can't be this, all feels too real.
Opening my eyes, I was speechless. A never-ending white void, for as far as the eye could see. This didn't feel like reality. Then I felt it… Something was staring at me…
Turning around, I saw it… a white humanoid figure, no mouth, eyes, hair. It looked like a mannequin. Wait, if it had no eyes, why did I feel something staring at me?
"Mortal, are you mute? Speak."
I froze. I felt the same helplessness as I did all those years ago. Not despair, but fear. My entire body just started shaking relentlessly, reflecting all those years of trauma. But, do I care anymore? Just a couple of years back, I was hoping for death.
"Uh, excuse me, who are you?"
"I am Ester"
"Uh, Ester, I mean no offence, but I've never heard of you."
"I am the God of Estoria"
A god? Like those I spent half my life praying to. Is this some kind of act of mercy or sympathy?
"So, uh, Mr God fellow, where am I, and why am I here?"
"You are in time. This is a four-dimensional plane which your mortal mind cannot comprehend."
"And why are you here. I have chosen you to be reborn in Estoria. I felt a tinge of sympathy for your years of suffering."
I'm going to be reborn? And what the fuck is Estoria. WAIT. Am I getting isekai'd? No way this is crazy, I've won the jackpot. I'm lucky these Gods feel sympathy. Actually, not gonna lie, I don't believe that last part, that God fellow doesn't seem capable of showing emotion.
Oh well, who cares?
"So, Mr God fellow, is there something I have to do? Like a mission or something?"
"No mortal. I will give you free will to do whatever you want. You will be the one to decide your fate. You can have that peaceful life you dreamed of. All I need is to hear a simple 'Yes' from you, and you shall be reborn into a noble family in the French Empire on Estoria."
This feels too good to be true. My entire life, I've been bullied, mocked and tricked. But, do Gods need to do that? Probably not, but something about this feels off. I don't think I have a choice, my only option is to say yes. I will probably be dead if I say no. Oh, wait, I'm already dead. But who knows, I might be sent into eternal torture or something.
"Yes, Mr God fellow, I accept your offer".
Then, as I expected the worst, some message appeared in front of my eyes…
[System downloading… System download complete…]
[Initialising Player Profile]
[Player 872901]
"Good choice, mortal. You shall be reborn momentarily. To open your menu, say 'Menu'. The rest you can figure out yourself."
After Ester said that, my body started to fade away. Wow, such good visuals.
Oh my god, why do I care about visuals? I'm getting isekai'd into a game-like world. This is either going to be a pain or good. Well, best of luck to me.
As my body became nearly transparent, I felt something from Ester… It was emotion, and it felt like he was laughing…