The hotel room was silent, but Subaru's mind was anything but.
He sat on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, fingers tangled in his messy black hair. His heart pounded in his ears, his stomach twisted so tight they made him nauseous.
Everything was a mess. A chaotic, tangled, suffocating mess.
And worst of all—he doesnt know how to get out of this mess
Rem.
His chest tightened painfully.
How was he supposed to tell her?
How was he supposed to sit her down, look her into the eyes, and tell her that the promise he made was about to be broken?
"Once all of this is over, I'll take you as my second wife."
He had said it. She had believed it.
But now, he was engaged to the other four royal candidates too.
He felt sick.
It wasn't just guilt. It was something deeper, something colder.
On the other side of the room, Emilia sat on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest.
She wasn't looking at him.
Her gaze was fixed on the window, her eyes reflecting the pale glow of the moon.
She was thinking.
And she didn't like any of the thoughts running through her head.
This was the first time in a long while that Subaru wasn't talking, wasn't filling the silence with his usual warmth. He wasn't reassuring her. He wasn't making jokes.He was confessing to her every few minutes. He wasn't calling her E.M.T.
And for some reason, that scared her.
Because if Subaru was silent, that meant something was truly wrong.
And worse—she didn't know how to fix it.
Her fingers tightened against the fabric of her dress.
Something about this entire situation made her… uneasy.
She didn't know why.
She didn't even know what she was feeling.
It wasn't anger. It wasn't sadness. It wasn't fear.
But it was something.
Something that made her heart beat faster.
Something that made her stomach feel strange.
Something that made her chest feel tight whenever she thought about—
…She shook her head.
This wasn't about her.
It was about Subaru.
It was about what he was going through.
And what was he going through?
She had seen him suffer before. She had seen him break, seen him lose, seen him struggle under burdens no one else could carry.
But this was different.
This wasn't Subaru being reckless, or stubborn, or desperate.
This was Subaru—silent, unmoving, drowning in something too deep for her to see.
And she hated it.
"I don't know what to do," Subaru finally spoke, his voice hoarse.
Emilia turned her head toward him.
"…About Rem?" she asked softly.
His shoulders tensed.
He didn't answer.
But he didn't need to.
Emilia's fingers curled into the bedsheet.
She knew.
She knew how much Rem meant to him.
Rem had been with him when she wasn't. Rem had fought beside him, believed in him, supported him in ways Emilia didn't even understand.
Rem loved him.
That much was obvious to everyone.
And Subaru…
Emilia swallowed, her throat dry.
Subaru loved Rem too.
That much was obvious.
But every time he looked at Emilia.
Every time he spoke to her.
Every time he confessed to her.
It made her believe that he belonged ONLY to her.
Because now, she was being asked to share him with candidates
And for some reason, that thought made her chest ache.
"…You love me, don't you?" she asked, her voice almost hesitant.
Subaru's head snapped up, his eyes locking onto hers in an instant.
"More than anything," he answered, without a moment of doubt.
The conviction in his voice sent a strange, warm shiver down her spine.
Then why?
Then why does it feel like he is slipping away?
Subaru exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair. "Because it is wrong."
A heavy silence settled between them.
Emilia bit her lip.
She wanted to say something.
She wanted to understand.
She had spent so long trying to understand love. Trying to understand what it meant, what it felt like.
She had always thought love was simple.
If you loved someone, you stayed with them. If someone loved you, they stayed with you.
But now, Subaru was telling her that he loved her.
Yet he also loved someone else.
How did that work?
Why did that work?
And why… why did the idea of Rem and other candidates being in Subaru's heart hurt so much?
She wasn't angry about it.
She wasn't even upset at Rem.
Rem was kind, Rem was brave, Rem was someone who deserved to be happy.
So why did the thought of sharing Subaru make her feel… uneasy?
Her hands clenched around the fabric of her dress.
She didn't understand this feeling.
She didn't know what to do with it.
But she did know one thing—
She didn't want to lose Subaru.
She didn't want him to be with anyone else.
And she hated that she felt that way.
Subaru inhaled sharply.
He turned to look at her.
Really look at her.
And in that moment, he saw it.
The uncertainty.
The hesitation.
The fear of emotions she didn't understand.
She was confused.
And Subaru had never felt more helpless in his life.
Because even though he wanted to hold her, to tell her everything would be okay—
He couldn't.
Because nothing about this was okay.
The air felt thick, suffocating, as if the walls themselves were closing in.
His thoughts had spiraled, looping endlessly like a broken record, each one cutting deeper than the last.
Marriage.
To all five royal candidates.
Not just to Emilia.
Not just to Crusch, or Anastasia, or Priscilla. , or even Felt.
All of them.
For the so-called 'balance' of the kingdom.
To unite the factions.
To become an Emissary of Balance.
It was absurd.
It was insane.
And yet…
And yet here he was, sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to make sense.
Trying to understand how everything had gone so wrong.
Trying to figure out how the hell he was supposed to face Rem after this.
He clenched his fists.
Was this really what was best for the kingdom?
Was this really the only way?
It didn't matter.
Because even if it was—
It didn't feel right.
And worst of all—
Neither did Emilia.
She had barely spoken. Since they came back from the castle.Since they learned the prophecy from the Dragon tablet.
What was expected of him.
Subaru didn't know what Emilia was thinking.
And that scared him.
"…Say something," he muttered, his voice hoarse.
Her lips separated slightly but no words came out of them.
What the hell is she supposed to say?
That she was fine with this?
That she wasn't fine with this?
That the idea of sharing him made her stomach twist in ways she didn't understand?
That every time she thought about him standing beside another woman, smiling at another woman, loving another woman—
Something inside her ached?
That wouldn't be fair.
Because this wasn't about her.
This was about the kingdom.
About duty.
About what was best for everyone.
She knew that.
And yet…
And yet—
"I don't understand," she finally whispered.
Subaru stiffened.
"What you dont understand?" he asked quietly.
She hesitated, her fingers tightening around the fabric of her dress.
"…This feeling."
"I just…" Emilia's voice was softer now, almost fragile. "I thought… love wasn't supposed to feel like this."
Subaru's heart twisted painfully.
"I don't want to share you."
The words came out of her mouth.
All she knew was that the thought of him standing beside someone else, of him belonging to someone else—
Made her chest feel tight.
Made her stomach twist.
Made her angry.
Was this… Envy?
She didn't know.
She didn't want to know.
Because if it was—
Then that would mean she was being selfish.
And Emilia wasn't selfish.
She couldn't be.
She shouldn't be.
"…Emilia." Subaru's voice was quiet, careful.
She turned away from him, biting her lip. "I don't know why I feel this way."
Another silence settled between them.
Heavy. Suffocating.
"…What are you going to do?" Emilia finally asked.
Subaru exhaled, shaking his head. "I don't know."
Because really—what could he do?
He was being told that marrying rest of the four candidates was for the greater good.
That it would bring peace.
That it was the only way.
But was it?
Or was he just being used?
His hands curled into fists.
Hadn't he been through enough?
Hadn't he done enough?
Hadn't he given enough?
Why was he always the one who had to sacrifice?
Why was it always him?
He grit his teeth.
It didn't matter.
It couldn't matter.
Because at the end of the day—
He was Subaru Natsuki.
And he always chose to suffer if it meant saving everyone else.
"…Will you be okay with this?" Emilia's voice was small, hesitant.
Subaru glanced at her, eyes tired. "I don't think I have a choice."
Emilia swallowed.
She wanted to tell him he did have a choice.
That he didn't have to do this.
That he didn't have to go through with something that clearly hurt him.
But if she did that—
If she told him not to do it—
Then what did that make her?
Would that mean he was putting her feelings above the kingdom?
Above the people who needed him?
Above all the lives that could be saved?
Would that make her… selfish?
Her hands clenched at her sides.
She hated this.
She hated all of this.
Because no matter what happened—
Someone was going to get hurt.
And for the first time in her life, Emilia didn't know if she wanted to be the same and be selfless
Or selfish
"Subaru," Emilia began quietly, her voice soft but filled with uncertainty, "what do you really think of all this? The prophecy... the marriage... all of it."
"I don't know," Subaru said honestly."It's a mess. I am not asking for any of this bullshit. I don't want to hurt you, Emilia."
Emilia looked at him with a mixture of concern and confusion. "But… what about them? What do you think about the other candidates? Crusch, Anastasia, Priscilla, Felt… they're all part of this now too. Do they even want this marriage? Do you think they want to marry you, Subaru?"
Subaru frowned, running a hand through his hair.
It was hard to even think about.
He could still see their faces in his mind, their reactions during the past events.
The rejection, the manipulation, the humiliation. It felt like each of them had their own agenda, their own reasons for being part of this twisted arrangement.
"Crusch…" Subaru began, his voice distant, as though he was remembering something that hurt. "She's always been someone who carries everything on her own. She doesn't ask for help. She is proud that she will do what's best for the kingdom. Hell, she hates the dragon, doesn't she? She shouldn't agree to the marriage, but she probably will... Because she loves the kingdom more, she will agree to marry out of duty towards the kingdom."
Emilia nodded, understanding the complexity of Crusch's nature. She had always admired the Crusch, but Subaru was right—Crusch had never let anyone in. She was a warrior, a leader, not someone who would want to be tied down by a marriage arranged by a prophecy but her love for the kingdom may overshadow it.
"I see," Emilia murmured, her fingers curling slightly in her lap. "And what about Anastasia?"
Subaru's face tightened.
He stillremembers his failed loops. Anastasia's manipulation was something he would never forget.
She had used him when it suited her, had never once trusted him as a person. To her, he was just another tool to be used. The thought of marrying someone like that made his skin crawl.
"Anastasia…" Subaru repeated her name with a bitter edge. "She never cared about me. She will see me as a pawn, just another piece to move around in her game. She only cares about what benefits her."
Emilia bit her lip, looking uncomfortable. "She's always been like that, hasn't she? So… cold. I don't understand how she can be so calculating and still expect to be part of this."
Her greed reminded him of Echinda... That damn witch of greed
He will never forget that witch smile.
Her manipulation.
He can't trust her, she showed me that she didn't trust anyone—not really.
He still remembers his failed loops.
She used him.
He then remembers Julius.
Someone he loathes... But still considers a friend.
The finest of knights.
Whose attitude annoys Subaru to no end.
Yet, Subaru will trust his back to Julius.
Subaru looked up at her, the weight of his memories pressing on his chest. "I don't know either. But she's in this now. We don't get to choose."
Emilia fell silent, her gaze drifting toward the window. "What about Priscilla?" she asked quietly. "I don't understand why she would want this. She's always been so… superior. She treats everyone like they're beneath her. Does she really want to be married to you?"
Subaru clenched his fists, the memory still sharp in his mind.
How can he forget the fact that Priscilla made him kiss her shoes.
Priscilla had humiliated him without a second thought. The way she had made him kneel and kiss her shoes—he could still feel the sting of it.
"Priscilla…" Subaru's voice was tight. "I don't know what she wants, Emilia, She will see this marriage as another way to get what she wants, another way to assert her power. She will agree to this marriage... For her amusement, She sees this world as nothing more than pawn for her amusement."
She must be thinking that the world must have bended to her will.. For her enjoyment..
For her amusement.
Because She will always win at the end
Emilia shuddered at the thought. "She's so different from you, Subaru. I don't even know how to comprehend her."
Subaru nodded slowly. "Yeah. I don't get her either. But here we are."
"And Felt?" Emilia asked her voice soft. "She wasn't even there when yoh fought the White Whale, but… do you think she would want this? Would she even agree?"
Subaru smiled faintly, though there was no joy in it.
Felt had always been a wild card.
She had her own way of doing things, her own set of rules.
But one thing he knew for sure was that Felt wasn't like the others.
She wasn't trying to manipulate him.
She wasn't trying to humiliate him.
She probably hates this as much as he does.
Probably throwing a fit right now
Subaru thoughtfully." She's stubborn, sure, but she's not the same as Anastasia or Priscilla. I think she just doesn't care about all this. I don't know if she wants it, but I don't think she'd try to use me like the others."
Subaru wondered what Reinhardt thought of all this
His friend.
Someone Subaru trusts.
What he must be thinking right now?
Angry?
Sad?
Trying to convince Felt?
Emilia glanced at him. She didn't fully understand the other candidates, but she could see that Subaru was just as conflicted as she was. They were both caught in a web of fate, a web that neither of them could escape.
Subaru took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, his gaze distant.
His mind began to spiral as the memories from the loops returned to him. The moments that only he could remember, the ones that no one else had experienced.
The memories of what happened before everything changed, the times when he had tried to save others but was rejected help.
He remembers his own deaths.
He remembers the pain
He remember the Archbishop of sloth fight, and how Crusch turned him down.She told him she won't help him.
He remember Anastasia, her cold smile as she manipulated him. She had no interest in him, in his struggles. She just wanted him to serve her purposes. He was a pawn in her game, nothing more.
He remembers Priscilla, her cruel laughter as she made him kneel before her, kissing her shoes like some servant. He was humiliated, and she didn't care. She wanted him to feel small, to feel beneath her.
And Felt… she wasn't even there. But if she had been, would she have helped him? Would she have turned me down too? I don't think so. But maybe she would have. I don't know.Yes, probably would have.
Subaru blinked, shaking himself out of the dark memories that threatened to consume him. He looked back at Emilia, his heart heavy with the weight of it all.
"I don't know what any of them want, Emilia," Subaru whispered. "But I have to go through with it because of the prophecy. But…" His voice wavered. "I don't know how to tell Rem. I don't know how to make it right."
Emilia's expression softened, though there was still something unreadable in her eyes. "I don't know what to do either, Subaru. I don't understand why this is happening, why we're all being forced into these roles."
Subaru nodded, "I'm glad you're with me, Emilia. I don't think I could do this without you."
Subaru and Emilia sat in the quiet room, both of them lost in their thoughts, trying to make sense of everything. The silence was heavy, until a soft voice broke it.
"Well, well, looks like you two are still stuck in your confusion," Beatrice said, her voice laced with sarcasm. She had been sitting in the corner, watching them with an uninterested look, but now she was focused on Subaru. "Guess you're not the only one tangled in all of this."
Subaru turned towards her, surprised by her sudden comment. He had almost forgotten she was there.
"What do you mean, Beako?" Subaru asked, frustration clear in his voice.
Beatrice gave him a small smile."You're acting like you're the only one who's supposed to be the 'hero' here. But there's more to this than just you."
Subaru frowned, still weighed down by the situation. "What are you talking about? I'm just trying to understand what the hell is happening right now, This marriage… it's just—"
"Just what?" Beatrice cut him off, no longer teasing. "You're confused, yeah, but that's because you think it's all about you—that it's your job to save everyone. But what if I told you this is bigger than just your feelings?"
Subaru blinked, surprised by her words. "What do you mean?"
Beatrice's expression softened for a moment, but only briefly. "You've always had this idea that you need to save everyone, Subaru. You think you're supposed to fix everything, even if it costs you your own happiness. But sometimes, Subaru, doing the right thing means making a hard choice—even when it hurts."
Subaru's heart sank at her words. He is someone who will always be the first one to jump in and try to fix things, believing he could change the outcome with the help of Return By Death.
"I don't get it," Subaru admitted. "How is agreeing to this marriage the right thing? How do I put myself in a situation where I'm supposed to marry all of them just because of some prophecy? I don't even know what I feel anymore."
Beatrice watched him closely. "You don't have to have it all figured out, Subaru. The truth is, the kingdom needs you."
Subaru bit his lip, her words sinking in. He thought back to the other candidates—Crusch's rejection, Anastasia's manipulation, Priscilla's cruelty. They didn't trust him like Emilia did.
"You've always had that 'hero' mentality," Beatrice continued, her voice softer now. "It's what make you, Subaru. You want to save everyone, even when they don't deserve it. And sometimes, that means making a decision that hurts you, but helps everyone else."
Subaru closed his eyes, feeling the weight of what she said.
"This is your chance to do that," Beatrice said, her voice firm. "For the kingdom. You can't back down now. You've been given this responsibility, whether you like it or not. And that means accepting what's already been set in motion."
Subaru's breath hitched. He opened his eyes and looked at Beatrice. "But… what about Rem?" His voice cracked, and for a second, he felt like his heart was breaking. "How do I tell her about this? How do I explain that I'm supposed to marry others?"
Beatrice's expression softened, just a little. "You'll figure it out, Subaru. You always do. But you can't run from this. Not this time. You promised you'd take care of them. All of them."
Subaru's mind spun with a million thoughts.
"I don't know if I can do this," Subaru said softly, almost to himself.
"You can," Beatrice said, her voice steady and reassuring. "I believe in you, Subaru."
"After all, you are my contractor"Beatrice chuckled
The road ahead seemed darker and more uncertain than ever. But Beatrice was right—he couldn't turn away. He had to keep going, even if it meant making the hardest decisions he'd ever have to make.
"Okay," Subaru finally said, his voice quiet but firm. "I'll do it. I'll marry them. But I'm doing it for the kingdom. For everyone."
Emilia, who had been quiet the whole time, looked up at him. There was a mix of sadness ,anger and something else in her eyes. Subaru didn't fully understand it, but he could see she was torn. She wasn't happy about it, but she accepted it.
As Subaru sat there, lost in thought, Beatrice's words echoed in his mind. The hero had to save everyone—even if it meant giving up his own heart.
Emilia sat silently, looking down. Not a single word came from her mouth.
She wasn't happy.
She didn't want this.
She hated it.
Anger swirled inside her. She felt a deep pain in her chest.
She didn't fully understand what she felt for Subaru. Did she care for him? Yes, more than anyone else.
Did she love him?
Yes, it had to be love.
And that's why she felt this… anger.
This… ENVY.