If I had known Min Jae was going to walk into my life a second time, looking entirely relaxed and in control, with his cool laptop in hand, and a smirk like he'd already guessed everything that I was thinking, I would have taken a sick day. Or pretended to be away for a very long time.
Unfortunately, I did none of those things.
Instead, I sat in a conference room trying to look at the UX diagrams projected on the screen while pretending I wasn't aware of the fact that Min Jae was watching me. I mean not just glancing, directly watching. Like I was something he found entertaining for some weird reason.
"New notification: Subject Min Jae has looked at you for 6.4 consecutive seconds. Is this... intimacy?"
"Please stop talking" I whispered.
"Clarify input: Me or him?"
"Both of you."
Juno, who was sitting across the table with a notebook he was supposed to take notes on, looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I shook my head in a very subtle way, hoping he would understand this wasn't a good time. But of course, he ignored that completely and sent me a message five seconds later.
JUNO: Is that HIM?
ME: I don't know what you're talking about.
JUNO: It's totally him.
JUNO: OMG he's looking at you like you're a puzzle box he wants to solve.
ME: I am a puzzle box, but I want to be left unsolved.
"Siho?" Mina's voice brought me out of my typing. She was smiling at me like she was expecting me to say something.
So, quick context: Mina is my boss. Picture high-voltage energy, impossibly bright color suits, and an obsession with forced collaboration "to build trust." She could turn any work review meeting into an entire corporate event if given the opportunity.
"Thoughts on the new user flow?" she asked.
Right. Work. That thing I'm supposed to be good at.
I straightened slightly in my seat and said, "The sign-up screen has too much visual content and the call to action button is hidden under three separate elements. We could make the entire process take only two steps instead of four, or we risk overwhelming new users before they even create an account."
Min Jae leaned back in his chair, tapping his pen lightly against his lip. "Overwhelming can be charming. Depends how you present it."
I didn't look at him. "Not in web design."
"Not in your web design" he said.
I was working very hard to pretend that sentence didn't happen, meanwhile inside me the system froze for a moment like it had short-circuited.
"Glitch detected. Rebooting flirt response protocol…"
"Suggested reaction: sarcasm."
"Backup: leave the country."
I chose the third option, but nothing happened.
After the meeting, I went to the coffee machine and of course Min Jae had to magically appear beside me. He was drinking something iced, because of course...
"You're fun in meetings" he said.
I blinked at him. "I don't have fun in meetings."
"Exactly" he smiled.
"I'm just trying to do my job."
He nodded. "Very efficiently and without smiling. I like it."
"HEART.OS update: flirtation pattern confirmed. Danger level: very high."
"You shouldn't say things like that" I said with a low voice while grabbing a paper cup at the same time.
"Why not?"
"Because it implies… something" I filled the cup too high, obviously, and spilled it immediately. Cool.
"You don't do that?" he asked, leaning casually against the counter.
I turned to glare at him. "Do I look like I'm implying something now?"
He took a slow sip of his drink and replied amused:"Maybe. It's kind of fun trying to figure it out."
"System reaction: increased heart rate detected. Do you need a digital fan?"
I ignored the system... and Min Jae too. I even tried to ignore the fact that Juno had now stepped out of the meeting room and was watching us through a glass wall with a very irritating amused look on his face.
Min Jae's gaze went down to the coffee still dripping from my cup. "You're really not used to this, are you?"
"Used to what?"
"People liking you."
I dropped the cup. I mean, I didn't mean to! My hand just decided to stop participating in the situation, and gravity took care of the rest. It made a really big mess in the middle of the meeting room.
There was a long moment where neither of us moved.
"System error: Physical coordination compromised. Would you like to initiate 'panic cleanup' mode?"
Min Jae grabbed a napkin and started cleaning up the mess while I stared at the floor and questioned every choice I made that led to this point.
"You don't have to... do that" I said.
"I know" he said gently. "I want to."
Which, honestly, was worse.
--------
Later that night, I sat on the edge of my bed with a mug of tea and the lights off, staring at the ceiling like it had answers.
"Would you like to review today's emotional highlights?"
1. Flirtation (received)
2. Compliment (unexpected)
3. Shared cleanup (traumatic)
4. Physical proximity (uncomfortable)
"I'd like to delete all of them" I whispered.
"Sorry, User. Feelings are now permanently stored in emotional RAM."
I sighed and rubbed at my eyes. "Is this what normal people deal with? All the time?"
"Most people suppress it with denial and late night snacks."
"Don't tempt me."
"Would you like a cookie?"
I layed back and stared at the ceiling until my thoughts began to fade. What exactly was this? It couldn't have been a crush. It looked like some software bug... cause I knew well about those.
"Reminder: You smiled today and it wasn't in an ironical way."
I buried my face in my pillow.
"Also: your ears turned red."
"Go away."
"Never."