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Chapter 11 - Chapter 11: A New Beginning

College began with a long drive, a quiet goodbye, and a heavy duffel bag slung over one shoulder.

Nathan didn't cry when he hugged his mother, but he almost did when she kissed his forehead and whispered, "I'm proud of you."

His father gave him a pat on the back and a short speech about staying out of trouble. It was awkward, but sincere—and in that moment, it meant the world.

Then the car pulled away, and Nathan was left standing at the edge of something new.

He took a deep breath and walked toward the dormitory.

---

His new room smelled like paint and detergent. Twin beds. White walls. A single window with sunlight spilling across the floor.

He met Kai first—his roommate. Easygoing. Loud. The kind of guy who offered you half his sandwich before asking your name.

Julien moved in two days later. Quiet. A little strange. He painted on his shoes and left sticky notes with movie quotes around the room. Nathan didn't know what to make of him at first, but Julien didn't seem to mind Nathan's silence.

"You feel like someone who notices things," Julien said one afternoon, out of nowhere. "That's rare. Keep doing that."

It stayed with him.

---

Nathan had chosen psychology almost without thinking. Not because it sounded impressive or easy—but because it felt *right.*

He wanted to understand the things people never said out loud. He wanted to know why people pretended to be okay, why sadness hid behind smiles, why some hearts healed and others hardened. He wanted to find the words for the things he'd felt his whole life but never dared to speak.

In his classes, he found himself both challenged and comforted.

There were theories about identity, trauma, perception. Case studies that mirrored things he'd seen in others—things he'd felt himself. For the first time, he wasn't just *hearing* the inner world of others—he was beginning to *understand* it.

And understanding, even in fragments, gave him hope.

---

Classes were harder than he expected. Not the content, but the *pace*. Everything moved fast—people, lectures, conversations. Everyone seemed to know what they were doing, like they had a plan.

Nathan didn't.

He just tried to show up.

He sat in the back, took notes, kept his head down. But even then, he couldn't stop *listening*—not with his gift, but with intention. How classmates hesitated before speaking, how professors revealed more in their silences than their words. How everyone was just trying, in their own way, to be seen.

---

For the first time in years, he made friends.

Ellie, who was obsessed with space and gave him a star map on his birthday, even though they'd only known each other for a month.

Samir, who could talk for hours about philosophy or say absolutely nothing and still make you feel understood.

And Reina, the quiet girl in his writing class who once cried while reading her poem aloud. She apologized, embarrassed—but Nathan just said, "It was honest. That's rare."

She smiled after that. They started sitting next to each other.

---

There were hard days, too.

Days when the crowd was too loud, or the world felt too sharp. When he'd go to the rooftop of the library just to *breathe*.

Some nights he missed home—not the place, but the silence. The sound of his mother humming in the kitchen. The way his father always left the porch light on, even if Nathan was already home.

And then there were the *empty* feelings. The ones he couldn't explain. That quiet ache behind the ribs. That sense of being in the middle of everything, yet still alone.

But those feelings didn't stay as long anymore.

Because sometimes, someone noticed.

Kai would throw a hoodie at him and say, "C'mon, let's get food."

Julien would say, "You're too quiet. That's suspicious."

Reina would text him a joke. Just to check in.

It wasn't perfect.

But it was something.

---

He found little things that helped him feel grounded.

Late-night walks to clear his head. Tea instead of coffee. Writing in a small notebook he never let anyone read. Volunteering at the local community center and reading books to kids, who didn't care about his silences or his strange ways of looking at the world.

He played pickup basketball on Saturdays, even though he was average at best. But it made him laugh. Made his body ache in a good way. Reminded him he was *alive.*

And slowly, piece by piece, college didn't feel like survival anymore.

It started to feel like living.

---

One evening, while sitting on a bench outside the psychology building, Nathan looked around—the lights glowing in the windows, the music from someone's speaker echoing faintly across the lawn, laughter drifting from a nearby dorm—and he thought:

*This is enough.*

Not because everything was perfect. It wasn't.

But because, for the first time in a long time, he wasn't pretending.

He wasn't hiding.

He was just… Nathan.

And maybe that was okay.

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