Pain.
That was the first thing I felt.
Not the sharp kind that made you scream, no, this was deeper.
A pain, slow and cruel, that gnawed at everything I was.
I remembered the blade piercing my chest.
I remembered the searing agony as my blood splattered on the marble floor, red on white, bright like a crushed rose.
But their laughter was worse.
The knights I had once been their commander.
The nobles who once bowed to me.
My own brot-, half brother, with his beastly grin as he twisted the sword deeper in.
"Die, you cursed villain," he spat, "The world has no need for your filth."
And then,
Her voice.
Choking on tears.
Screaming his name.
"Stop--please, stop! Don't--!"
Too late.
The blade had already cut through the last life thread holding me up.
As I fell, I saw her, Evelyne, breaking free from the hands that held her back.
Her silver hair got colored with blood, her body was shaking as she threw herself between my corpse and the next sword strike meant to torture me further.
They....cut her down too.
As easily as killing an ant.
As if she meant nothing.
She didn't resist, all the power she had, she didn't care to use to resist or retaliate, as if broken.
Her violet eyes met mine in the last few seconds I--we had.
Not filled with hatred.
Not filled with fear.
Only regret.
They seemed to be asking for... forgiveness?
Before everything faded into darkness.....
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I jumped awake with a cry, drenched in sweat, and heart hammering like a drum.
For that moment, I felt I was still dying, I wanted to.
But no, above me was not the views where I died, not the cold sky, it was an ornate ceiling, one of the Valenstein Manor.
The place I used to call home, and my ...execution chamber.
My chest ached as if the sword was still pierced in it.
My throat was burning as if I had been screaming for years.
But I was...Alive.
Alive.
I forced myself up, muscles trembling, nerves screaming.
The sheets seemed to twist around me like shackles.
The bedposts mocked me with their shine.
I pressed my hands to my face, feeling the wetness there.
Tears.
Mine.
Pathetic.
I couldn't stop them.
Not yet.
Not after I saw her death, again.
"Leonheart?"
I flinched on that voice.
Soft, familiar.
But in my fractured mind, it was filled with screams and sobs.
I turned, too fast, and my vision changed.
She stood in the doorway.
She too, was alive.
Evelyne Astera.
Her silver hair flowing like liquid moonlight, untainted by red blood.
Her violet eyes blinking at me, filled with confusion and wariness, but they were whole.
Untouched. Unbroken.
"I--I heard shouting....Are you---"
I couldn't speak.
My throat was dry.
My hands, betraying me, were shaking and gripping the sheets.
She hesitantly stepped forward.
"Leonheart....?"
I wanted to shout at her, telling her to stay back.
I wanted to fall on my knees to beg for ger forgiveness.
I wanted to hold her and never let go.
But that was not what Leonheart Valenstein would do.
Not the man called a villain.
Not the man branded as a monster by the world.
So I did what a villain does best.
I lied.
"Bad dream," I said, voice raw, "Nothing more."
Her gaze flickered, sharp and knowing.
She didn't believe me.
Good.
The old Evelyne was proud and stubborn, but naive.
The woman I watched die was broken by betrayal, yet she still tried to protect a man that had been condemned by the world.
She deserved to live.
I would make sure she does.
"You look pale," she muttered before stepping forward despite her hesitation.
"Should I call a phy-----"
"No."
Too harsh.
I closed my eyes, trying to breath through the raging storm inside me.
When I opened my eyes again, I made my voice softer.
The mask slipping into place.
"I'll be fine, just give me a moment."
She hesitated again before nodding.
I watched her carefully, every movement, every breath.
This was a chance, a chance to rewrite the script, our script, to crush what led us both to ruin.
But first, I have to survive, and to do that, I can't let anyone know I remember, not yet.
Not until I was strong enough to rip those pesky smiles off their faces.
I pushed myself up, ignoring the weakness filling my body. Evelyne moved on instinct to steady me.
Her hand was warm, soft, and....fragile.
I remember that hand goin limp in death.
"You shouldn't move." She scolded, her cheeks flushed as she realized how close we stood to each other.
"You're still recov-------"
"I said I'm fine."
My voice came out sharper than intended.
A balde, not a shield, to which she recoiled slightly, the old fear resurfacing in her eyes.
I hated it, I hated that I made her fear me, in the past and even now.
But fear, fear is useful.
It keeps people at a distance.
It gave me space to plan
I would do things, but I would do them in my way. Piece by piece, move by move.
"Evelyne."
She looked at me, startled by how I called her name.
I let my gaze soften, just a fraction, enough to plant doubt, enough to let her wonder.
"Thank you. Thank you for coming to check on me."
Her lips parted slightly, but no words came out. She was stunned.
Good.
"I--it's only proper." She finally mumbled, pulling her hand away before stepping back.
"We are engaged after all."
Ahhh, Engaged.
A political arrangement.
A shackle around both our necks.
In the last life, it was her condemnation. This time I would turn that chain into a weapon, one that bound her to me, yes, but also one that protected her.
Even if I had to destroy this forsaken world to do it.
"Rest well Leonheart," she stiffly said, regaining her composure. "I will inform the servants that you're awake."
I let her go. I watched her back, graceful and proud. I watched as the door softly closed
behind her.
Only then, and only then, did I let myself tremble.
I pressed a hand to my chest where the ghost of the sword still throbbed.
I could still feel the cold kiss of steel.
I could still hear her dying breath.
I hated this world.
I hated its heroes and its righteous factions.
I hated the way it chewed people up and spat them out in the name of righteousness.
If they wanted a villain, I would give them one.
But not the kind they expected.
This time, I would smile as I tore down their golden facades.
This time, I would rewrite every doomed ending.
Starting with Evelyne.
Starting with myself.