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My Disciples are Idiots!

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Synopsis
Bai Laotou has a grand ambition: create the No.1 sect in the world! On the first day, he recruits disciples... but they're not normal! Disciple 1: “Wait, is this a boss fight or just a cutscene?” Disciple 2: “Bro, don’t skip the dialogue. There might be hidden lore flags.” Disciple 3: “I’m speedrunning this quest. Gonna solo the mini-boss and see if I can glitch through the trial wall.”
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Chapter 1 - Bai Laotou

At the bottom of the mountain, there's a small village. If you follow the main road, at the very top of the mountain, there is a small sect— Clear Sky Sect.(晴朗派)

At one of those pavilions, the doors suddenly banged open, and an old man dashed out. He shouted:

"Evil spirit! BEGONE!"

Bai Laotou (白老头) is a cultivator. He had been in the Clear Sky Sect since he was a little boy. He was an average youth, but through luck, he was accepted into the sect.

Under master's guidance, Laotou cultivated diligently, learning the ways of the sword, and absorb everything his master has taught him. He was not the brightest, nor was he the smartest, but he was the most diligent of all the disciples. Slowly, he progressed. Through the hardships of cultivation, and all the chaos in the world, Laotou rose through the ranks and became the sect's pride and joy.

However, the previous sect leader suddenly passed away. As teacher's sole disciple, Laotou naturally inherited the position of sect leader.

But the day after his promotion, there was a voice in his head!

"GET OUT!"

The old man cursed a few more times, running in circles in the courtyard. He was shouting constantly, yelling phrases, and hitting his head.

> BUT HOST! I'M NOT AN EVIL SPIRIT! I'M A SYSTEM! S.Y.S.T.E.M!

Laotou snorted. "Hmph! Foolish spirit! Such trickery will not deceive me! Begone!"

> WAIT! Host! You're a sect leader, correct? Are you having trouble finding new disciples?

The truth hurts. Clear Sky Sect was once a reputable mid-tier sect known for discipline, elegance, and perseverance!

It was founded more than 300 years ago by a sword immortal. Legends said that the old ancestor found clarity atop the mountain peak. Seeing the beautiful sky, the old ancestor decided to settle down and create a sect.

However, the sect has since declined. There's a lack of new disciples, most of which were poached by bigger sects. There's a shortage of cultivation resources in the region, and they suffered a disastrous duel in the last decade that made them lose face.

As a result, the once respectable Clear Sky Sect became nothing more than a shadow of its former self.

Today, only Laotou remained behind. Stubbornly carrying on his teacher's legacy.

Laotou gathered his Chi. (气)

Get rid of evil first, and ask questions later. First, he must eliminate the evil spirit.

> HOST!!! WAIT! I'm not evil! Let me prove to you my usefulness!

Ding!

[ Newbie Reward: Disciples x10 ]

> Host! I can summon powerful and talented youths to your sect. Currently, I can only summon 10 disciples. However, as I recover more of my powers, I can summon more.

> They are courageous, persistent, and very loyal! They are the perfect disciples for your sect! Would you like to see them?

Laotou narrowed his eyes. Although he didn't trust the words of an evil spirit, he does agree those traits were desirable in disciples. In such a lawless universe, talent dictates how far one can go, but your attitude will decide if you can fulfil your potential.

Although he was suspicious, he wanted to see what this evil spirit was up to. With a snort, he said: "Let's see these disciples!"

Ding!

[ Disciples summoned x10 ]

> Host, the talented disciples have been summoned! They will arrive at the gate soon…

Laotou narrowed his eyes. So sudden? The youths are already here? He released his senses, and detected a group of people ascending the mountain.

Excited, he quickly gathered at the entrance, wanting to see the new arrivals. Laotou stood at the very front, and his foot tapped impatiently.

Exactly ten people ascended the mountain, appearing in the distance, but Laotou instantly narrowed his eyes. These people were… different.

"Whoa… this is some high-res grass. Did they use Unreal Engine for this?"

"Anyone know how to open the settings menu? I think I accidentally set my field of view to vomit-inducingly wide."

"Bro… I can feel the wind. Like, my actual leg hairs are moving. 10/10 immersion."

"Is this full dive tech? Because I just stubbed my toe and I'm 70% sure I broke it."

"Wait—where's the HUD? Am I in hardcore mode already?!"

"Where's the beginner village? Why is it just… mountain? And why is this old grandpa in robes glaring at us like we owe him rent?"

Laotou was completely taken aback. Numerous questions popped up in his head, but none of which he had answers to.

Why do these youths speak in strange tongues? Why can I not understand them? Am I secretly illiterate?

And most important of all, there's not an ounce of cultivation in these youths!

The dantian is formed at the age of 15, and through the absorption of world Chi, they can nourish their body. It's a natural process that happens instinctively— even granny and grandpa in the local village have some cultivation!

But these youths before him have no cultivation at all!

What talented disciples?!

What once-in-a-generation talent?

"Evil Spirit!"

> Yes, host?

"I've seen through your lies! These are not talented disciples! But retards with brain damage!"

> B-but host! They are the perfect disciples! Not only do they have extraordinary perseverance, courage, and ambition, but they possess great creativity and talent in many fields, including martial arts!

"Impossible! Kids at this age should've opened their dantian, and begin nourishing their body with world Chi! If they can't do this, they must be a cripple!"

Perfect disciples?— lies!

How could these braindead youths be the talented martial artists I need?

Would they even take cultivation seriously? Would they learn martial arts with full dedication? Impossible!

Did they have any talent? Laotou didn't believe so!

"Hmph, You say these disciples are talented, but how talented could they be? Are they more talented than those once-in-a-generation disciples from other sects?"

> Confident

"Even comparable to Cheongmyeong of Mount Hua Sect? The most talented prodigy of this generation?"

> Without a doubt

Laotou snickered. He didn't believe it for one second! Prodigies like Cheongmyeong are birthed once in a generation! How could he pick up not one, but ten of those kids at the same time?

Do you think talents like Cheongmyeong are cabbages from the market?

"Hmph. Then if they fail my entrance exam, I want you to leave my head, you evil spirit!"

> …okay

Laotou smirked. Putting on his best facade, he said:

"Welcome to the great Clear Sky Sect! I am sect leader Bai Laotou. The journey to becoming immortal is riddled with danger, and one must be prepared for adversity. Before you are accepted as a disciple, you must pass the entrance exam."

The youths whispered amongst themselves.

"Entrance exam? This is not what I expected."

"Wow, the NPC is quite realistic, I can even see their nose hairs!"

"Ay? Is it just me or is the NPC staring at me weirdly?"

"The test is simple! You must defeat 100 elemental wolves from the mountain! You have a time limit of 3 days! Good luck!"

Saying this, Laotou quickly turned around, retreating to his pavilion. There was a smug smile on his face.

An elemental wolf?! That's a powerful beast! To hunt down a monster of such calibre, one must have comprehended the basic laws of the universe. Otherwise, they are just dead meat!

But these applicants weren't cultivators! They were just ordinary civilians who couldn't even access Chi! This entrance exam was practically impossible! How could any applicant return with an elemental wolf corpse within 3 days!? Let alone 100.

Thinking of this, Laotou had a confident smile: "Foolish spirit, victory is mine!"