> "They say love can be subtle.
But in Kuoh Academy, it's delivered with magical ink, floral explosives, and soul-binding confessions."
— MC, calmly hiding in a mop bucket
---
[Location: Kuoh Academy – Monday, 8:00 a.m.]
MC entered school like a true background character—deadpan face, even footsteps, terrifyingly neutral aura.
He opened his shoe locker.
Twelve letters.
Each sealed with a different emblem:
One sparkled ominously.
One growled.
One dripped blood.
One smelled like strawberry shampoo and revenge.
---
[Meanwhile: Occult Research Club]
Rias (reading a report):
> "Twelve love letters. One day. That's more than Issei's received in his entire life."
Issei (crying in corner):
> "It's true. And three of those were pity notes."
Akeno (smiling far too pleasantly):
> "Should we… investigate? For safety reasons, of course."
Rias (gritting teeth):
> "Yes. Safety."
Koneko:
> "He's going to dodge all of them."
---
[Scene: Hallway Interception – Letter Girl #5]
Random Girl (blushing):
> "Senpai! Please accept my—"
MC (vanishing behind a flagpole):
> "I do not exist on this emotional frequency. Goodbye."
She blinked.
He was gone.
---
[Scene: The Arrival of Leviathan]
Serafall Leviathan, Satan, Magical Girl Cosplayer, and Menace of Good Taste, arrived mid-morning.
In full magical girl uniform.
Throwing glitter.
> "Little Sona-tan! Big Sis is here to check on your LOVE LIFE!"
Sona (horrified):
> "This is a high school. Please leave."
Serafall (turning):
> "Wait.
Who's that?"
She locked eyes with MC.
Paused.
Whispered:
> "He radiates mid-season villain energy... I love it."
---
[Scene: Broom Closet Escape Plan]
MC fled before the madness reached critical flirtation.
He disappeared into a broom closet rigged with:
A pressure-triggered stealth field
Anti-awkward-conversation barriers
Emergency sarcastic response spray
Inside, he sat peacefully with a thermos of evil tea.
> "The shadows are quieter than confessions."
---
[Scene: Simultaneous Stakeout – Rias & Sona]
Rias (watching from window):
> "He's clearly more than he lets on."
Sona (adjusting glasses):
> "His entire presence defies detection algorithms. He vanished into a broom closet."
Rias:
> "Let's make this interesting."
Sona:
> "Already on it."
Both submit anonymous fake love letters to test him.
Both letters immediately spontaneously combust in his locker the next day.
---
[System Notification]
> Trait Gained:
"Romance Immunity (Lv.1)" – Immune to forced love triangles, yandere encounters, and emotionally compromising beach episodes.
---
[Final Scene – Rooftop Reflection]
MC stood alone again.
Staring at the sky.
Behind him: a broken confession box, a glitter crater, and Issei stuck to a tree.
> "They're getting closer.
But I've prepared the next move."
He whispered into the wind:
> "Initiate Phase 2: Cultural Festival—Shadow Edition."
---
End of Chapter 42: Love is a Battlefield (and a Fire Hazard)