"The fuck?"
These were the words of Garth Haze. He had been enjoying his lunch at Taco Bell when his phone suddenly began ringing. He pulled it out to see who it was - expecting to decline the call. To his confusion, though, the caller ID read, 'Congratulations! You've won the lottery!'
Garth declined the call with even more skepticism than he normally did. He had been tempted to see what would happen, but expected some automated voice giving some nonsense he would hang up on almost immediately anyway.
However, something unexpected happened when Garth tried to decline the call. First, he found he could not. He assumed he was doing something wrong, but after a moment, the phone started making an obnoxious foghorn noise accompanied by a repeated chiming: 'You have a phone call! A phone call!'
Unable to stop it, Garth left the building to not bother the other customers. As he did, whatever was happening to his phone seemed to be growing impatient as the chiming changed. 'Answer the phone! Answer the phone, already!!'
Still unable to do anything with his phone but accept the call, Garth figured he would, hang up, and wipe it just in case he somehow got a virus. But the instant he answered the call he was met with a loud, youthful, and effeminate voice everyone in the vicinity could hear. "Don't you dare hang up on me you forever-virgin, otaku, going-to-die-alone, dipshit loser!!"
Met with that, Garth could only stare dumbly at his phone and leave a confused utterance, "The fuck?"
Garth hesitantly brought his phone to his ear. "Okay, I'll bite. The fuck is this about?"
"Hmph," snorted the woman on the other side. "Is that how you speak to someone on the phone?"
"You started it. Now, the fuck you do to my phone?"
Garth heard a soft laugh from the woman before she began speaking happily with none of her previous frustration or haughtiness, "Didn't you read the caller ID? You are the winner of my lottery. You – Garth Haze – were chosen among all the worthless, little, cum-stained, weeb-and-otaku-nerd losers to receive a special gift!"
"Kinda hard to buy that when you keep insulting me."
"Oh, please, you and I both know your self-aware enough to know that as far as people go, you're not exactly up there in terms of social standing. Plus, your general apathy for things is bordering on making you nonexistent. Literally, anyone could take your place in the world and no one would really notice a difference. You work, eat, sleep."
Garth was silent for several seconds after the woman finished until finally saying, "Just who the hell are you?"
"Hmm, I'm getting more intrigue and annoyance from you than what I was expecting. Figured my little breakdown would've warranted more dejection and self-loathing. You really never did get past all that self-loathing back in middle school did you. You just accepted it to the point where 'I'm a worthless fuck slowly rotting away' was deemed an acceptable condition for you. Over a decade and this is your mental state. So, sad. You're perfect!"
"The point. Can I get it?"
"Oh! Right, the fun part. Well, congratulations to you! Your little weeb-ish, otaku dreams have come true! I am a goddess and you've been selected for an unparalleled isekai adventure!!!"
Garth opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted.
"Now, don't do that 'devil's advocate', pessimist thing you do. Can't you just be happy? If it'll make you not question me, I've got this. BOOM, MAGIC PHONE!"
Suddenly, Garth's phone started shining and he needed to pull it away from his ear as it blinded him. Gradually the light died down and he was able to look at his phone. It was now golden and sleeker to the point he thought he could snap it like a pop-tart.
The light had been so noticeable, Garth looked around to see if anyone else was seeing this. However, to his shock, the world around him had come to a standstill. People, cars, and even birds in the sky all stopped in mid-motion.
"Cool, right," said the woman through Garth's phone.
Garth brought his phone back to his ear.
"Now, at this point, you're just going to go along with whatever. So, I'm going to skip the part where you debate in your head whether this is real or if you've finally lost touch with reality. Here's the deal. I'm a cosmic entity who feeds on entertainment. So, all you little weebs, otaku, and geeks are my food! I got permission to fiddle with your world a little and held a lottery for all you little 'enthusiasts' – minus a few disqualifications. It was your name I pulled out; so, you're our big winner!"
"Alright," Garth says slowly. "So, you said you were going to fiddle with my world. But that I supposedly won some sort of isekai lottery. How do those two things work together?"
"Well, the thing is, I'm less isekai-ing you and more changing your world to match with another world.'"
Garth opened his mouth to question why but stopped himself. "And, you're doing this…I'm guessing to feed on my joy or something from having my world become an anime world or something."
"Pretty much."
"…Didn't you have a big rant about how much of a 'so depressed I'm apathetic about everything' loser I am?"
"You'd be surprised how tasty the joy of someone like you is. Besides, apathy and pessimism may be your default, but you're…comfortable is the word I'll use. You're comfortable with your perceived place in the world – as unimportant as you think it is. Sure, if something good happens you'll question why it's happening or why you should be happy about it, but otherwise, you're just a normal guy. You laugh, cry, and have your own brand of fun - even with your sad, bleak view of the world. A perfect blend of misery and normalcy. Plus, by your own definition, you're a freak held back by your own overbearing senses of shame and fear of consequence. Letting you off your leash will be the best type of fun."
"Okay. So, how exactly does this work?"
"Pfft, look at you sounding all calm. I know how borderline giddy you are. Anyway, I'm Atilea – a cosmic entity that feeds on entertainment. I've been seeing some other entities do this and that with people like you and – for better or worse – the people they messed with radiated the best type of joy. So, I decided to do something similar. To start with, you're going to choose some show or story and then I'll change your world to match that story. Then, you will take the place of the main character of that story."
Atilea continued, "From there, I'll semi-randomly fuse other shows and stories into your world. You like fanfiction; think of it as an OC SI main character in an AU that gradually turns into a massive crossover fusion!"
"Okay," Garth said, "that makes sense. Though, if that's what's happening, I have to ask. Do I have any special powers? Do I get the MC I'm replacing's powers? Are there any catches I should worry about?"
"Yes, kinda-no, and yes. You're 'special powers' will be that phone I tweaked for you. It contains a system for you to have fun with. As for the MC's powers, I won't say you can't get them, but you won't automatically inherit them – the system can help with that indirectly, but it's a long shot. As for any catches…you'll face a few adjustments to your being and personal life, but that's covered by the system. Otherwise, the main 'catch' is that any plots or stories that become part of the world will irrecoverably feature you as the main character. One way or another, you'll become entwined by the plotlines and have to deal with them."
Garth chewed his lip as he digested the explanation. Part of him wanted to jump at this. Whether he had truly lost touch with reality or if this was real did not really make a difference. So, choosing to accept things as reality, he could not lie and say he was not excited by the idea of getting to replace the main character of a beloved story. However, the problem is, he would be the main character. The main character's job is…HARD. The way this is being explained, it sounds like he'd never get a moment of rest – going from one story and plot to another. It sounds exhausting and excessive.
Garth eventually questioned, "…I'm assuming I don't actually get a say in this?"
"Now what would make you think that," Atilea replies in a hurt tone.
Garth replied flatly, "You already gave me the phone-"
"I can take it back."
"-AND, if you were giving me the option to say no, you would have let me decline that call instead of being so obnoxious about it."
"Hmm…I could have just been making sure you answered."
"You could have just called a few times. If you know me as well as you say, you'd know I'd have picked up the second or third time."
"Point. ~So, if I were to say you don't have a choice?~"
"Then, I'd say, 'Where do we start?'"
Atilea let out a happy noise. "You can start by going into your phone. I cleaned it up a bit and removed the apps you won't be needing or just don't use."
Garth did as instructed. Once in his phone, he found the various games he had organized into alphabetical folders. He also had Safari, Notes, Messages, Mail, and Camera. However, there was one he did not recognize.
"I took some liberties. You now have infinite battery as well as unlimited, all-access, full-bars-wherever-you-go cell and internet service. You can still access the phone's basic functions like the internet, notes, and camera, and I might contact you through the messages or mail."
"I'm guessing this one app is the system you mentioned?"
"That's right," Atilea chirped. "Go ahead and open it and set up your profile. It should be fairly self-explanatory, but I'll stick around to offer any explanations. Once you reach the end, our call will disconnect and you'll be in your new world!"
Garth opened the app labeled 'Reality MOD'. As he did, a circle similar to the phone's camera appeared on the screen with his face at the center. It clicked like the shutter of a camera and now displayed a still image of his face.
"The first thing the app will do is take a picture of your face as a form of ID so only you can access it."
"What if I'm cloned or something?"
"Pfft, despite what you can see, it didn't take a picture of your face. It took a picture of you. Your true essence. Even if someone created a clone of you. It wouldn't be you."
"What if a god creates an evil double of me?"
"While, yes, a divine made copy could access the app. That's only if it is a perfect one. Any changes to it means it's no longer you."
"Okay..." Looking to the screen, Garth saw it had moved on to asking for him to select a language.
[Language: _________]
"Anything I should know about this language part?"
"That's just to handwave any language barriers. Everyone will conveniently speak whatever language you choose."
A smirk on his face, Garth asked, "Will I be able to understand whatever language I choose?"
"Nope."
That wiped the smirk off his face. He muttered, "So much for insta-learning Japanese." He then brushed the short-lived desire off. "Then, there's only one choice."
[Language: ENGLISH]
The screen then transitioned to a yellowish white. At the top, it read: WORLD SELECTION. Then, there was a single bar to type in in the middle of the screen, and a grayed-out 'Select' button under it.
"Okay, I'm at world selection. So, I just type in the series I want and hit select?"
"Pretty much," Atilea said cheerfully. "There are a few steps after it, but that's more formalities and minor customization. Though, do be careful of the world you choose. Some adjustments will be made, but you're generally stepping into the role of MC as yourself. You won't necessarily be inheriting anything from the original main character besides background and situation. So, I recommend choosing something where you can get powers or one that doesn't have too wide or high a power scaling."
"Okay..." Garth trailed off as he stared as the screen of his phone.
"Let's see," Garth thought. "Either something easy or something where I gain power easily. So, no Toriko, Dragon Ball, Fairy Tail, Naruto, etc.…Bleach, Code Geass, Hunter x Hunter, Deadman Wonderland… Wait…I shouldn't bet on a system I don't even know how to use… I don't have the same intelligence Lelouche does. I don't have Gon's crazed brand of charisma. Deadman would suck…"
"Maybe I should keep it simple after all. I mean who hasn't wanted a Pokémon Journey of their own before? Plus, I could get in some basic exercising in to get ready for bigger stuff. A harem anime could be fun. Though, the main characters are always wimpy ass beta males who either need to be rescued or have some bullshit power or lineage to deal with things."
Making his selection, Garth hit the 'Select' button and could instantly feel the world around him changing. It was an odd sensation. Colors began to blur and he began losing his sense of where he ended and his surroundings began.
Despite this, Garth was still able to see his phone's screen. It now asked him to use a scrolling bar to choose his age from a minimum age of the character he was replacing to a maximum of twenty-seven.
After that, it had Garth choose his gender. There were more options than he expected and while he considered one of them, he decided to stick with male.
Once this was completed, the world faded to nothing.
The last thing Garth heard was Atilea's cheerful voice, "I hope you enjoy~"