Lin Feng had fought spirit beasts, dueled rogue cultivators, and survived a sentient pancake rebellion.
But nothing prepared him for the smell that hit him as he approached the Soup Pavilion—an overwhelming wave of miso, mushroom, and madness.
A bell chimed. A disciple in a chef's hat bowed. "Welcome, Chosen Mash. The Grand Broth Trials await."
Flame Duck sniffed. "Smells like destiny. And onions."
Bai Xue muttered, "Why are you always getting recruited by food-based sects?"
Lin Feng glared at her. "I don't know. Maybe I have an edible aura."
The chef-disciple smiled. "Come. The duel is about to begin."
---
Broth Battle Arena
The Soup Pavilion's central arena looked like a kitchen had merged with a martial arts dojo. Giant cauldrons bubbled across the stone floor. Steam rose like misty qi.
A crowd cheered from bleachers made of stacked ramen bowls.
An announcer yelled, "In this corner! From the Molten Miso School—Master Scalding Spoon!"
A burly man with a ladle the size of a canoe raised it in salute.
"And in the other corner… nobody! Because our guest, the Chosen Mash, declined the duel!"
The crowd booed. Tomatoes flew.
Lin Feng ducked. "I told them I'm not dueling anyone!"
"Too late," Bai Xue said, holding up a scroll. "They changed your role."
"To what?"
She pointed to a golden sash labeled: Official Broth Arbiter of Justice.
Flame Duck gasped. "You're a soup judge now?!"
Lin Feng groaned. "I don't even like soup that much!"
---
The Duel Begins
Master Scalding Spoon and his opponent, a refined woman wielding a twin ladle set, took their places before two massive cauldrons.
Lin Feng was seated on a floating platform above the arena, complete with a tasting spoon and scorecards marked Brothy, Savory, and Transcendent.
A bell rang.
Qi flared.
Vegetables levitated.
The duel began.
Ingredients flew. Spiritual flames roared beneath the pots. Each cultivator infused their broth with intent, flavor, and soul.
Lin Feng leaned to Bai Xue. "This is just Iron Chef with violence."
She nodded. "I'm impressed. That guy's using Dragon Bone stock."
Flame Duck added, "The woman just flash-infused her miso with Nine-Spice Palm Technique!"
Lin Feng squinted. "How do I even judge this?"
---
Judgment Day (of Soup)
A disciple presented Lin Feng with two bowls.
He tasted the first: rich, earthy, with a hint of flaming scallion chi. It punched him in the soul.
He tried the second: smooth, sweet, subtly spiritual. His third eye briefly opened and showed him a vision of Soup Nirvana.
"I hate how good these are," he muttered.
Raising his spoon high, he declared: "The miso… wins."
The crowd roared. The male cultivator wept into his ladle.
The Soup Pavilion Elder bowed. "Your palate is wise."
"I'm literally just hungry," Lin Feng said.
---
Unexpected Promotion
After three more duels (and three more transcendent soups), Lin Feng was dragged to the center platform.
The Soup Elder proclaimed, "Chosen Mash, you have passed the Ladle of Discernment."
"I didn't sign up for that," Lin Feng protested.
"Your next duty—judge the Grand Final. The clash of the Soup Saints."
A gong rang.
The air thickened with flavor qi.
From one end, a woman floated in, dressed in seaweed robes, wielding a soup spoon that shimmered like moonlight.
From the other, an old man rolled in on a wheeled cauldron, surrounded by floating dumplings.
Flame Duck whispered, "You're so screwed."
---
The Final Bowl
The Soup Saints began.
Their broth bubbles sang ancient culinary hymns. Their flames danced like dragons. Ingredients obeyed them like spirit beasts.
A single dumpling blinked at Lin Feng.
Bai Xue muttered, "I think it's sentient."
The scent alone made Lin Feng tear up. Memories of childhood, loss, victory… all simmered in the steam.
The judges from the Pavilion fell to their knees.
Lin Feng was presented with two bowls, glowing with qi.
He tasted the first.
He saw his mother smile for the last time.
He tasted the second.
He relived every hardship that led him here—and felt it heal.
He dropped the spoon. "It's… a tie."
The arena fell silent.
Then erupted in applause.
---
Justice is Served
The Elder bowed again. "You've done the impossible. A fair verdict."
"We've waited centuries for a judge worthy of both soups."
Lin Feng's eye twitched. "Can I go now?"
"No," the Elder said. "You are now Honorary Ladle of Balance and Harmony. You must bless our cauldrons for the next seven festivals."
Flame Duck quacked, "So you're like the Soup Pope now?"
Bai Xue nodded solemnly. "All hail His Brothness."
Lin Feng screamed internally.
---
Later That Night… Again
Sitting under a steaming bonsai tree, Lin Feng glared at the night sky.
"First pancakes. Then potatoes. Now soup."
Bai Xue handed him a scroll. "Guess what."
"No."
"You've been invited to the Rice Monastery. They request a visit from the 'Balanced Broth Bodhisattva'."
Flame Duck chirped, "It says, 'Bring your own bowl.'"
Lin Feng buried his face in his hands.
A rice grain floated by. It shimmered… ominously.
He moaned, "I miss normal martial arts."
---
"I swear, if this turns into a dumpling war, I'm switching to sword cucultivationcultiva