"Listen, Luna," Harry said thoughtfully, catching up with his friend after class. "Do you know anything about Ravenclaw's diadem?"
"I do," she replied. "It's lost."
"Great," Potter assessed the information. "And more specifically?"
"It happened back in the Founders' era," Luna added after a moment's thought, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. One of the things Harry appreciated about her was that it never even occurred to her to ask why he was interested in such strange things. He considered that a rare and very valuable trait in a girl. "It supposedly belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw herself, but after her death and her daughter's death, the diadem was never found."
"Well, someone did find it..." Harry scratched his head. "Do you know what it looks like? In books, it looks different in every illustration. There's one on Rowena's statue, but who knows what the sculptor imagined!"
"We could ask the Grey Lady," Luna suggested calmly. Ever since Potter had entered her life, he had brought with him a barely manageable chaos, but it introduced so many creatures unknown to science that it was worth enduring some inconveniences.
"You mean the ghost?" Harry frowned, never paying much attention to Hogwarts legends. "And how would she know?"
"She is Helena Ravenclaw," Luna explained. "Rowena's daughter. The Bloody Baron killed her and then took his own life. He was in love with her."
"Wow..." Harry bit his tongue. "That's like a soap opera! Rowena had a daughter, he loved her, she rejected him, so he killed her... Alright, let's find her, shall we?"
"Let's," Luna agreed. She still didn't ask why Potter needed the diadem, assuming that he would tell her sooner or later. "Where do we start?"
Harry hesitated. Looking for a ghost in a huge castle was a hopeless endeavor, and waiting for the Grey Lady to appear on her own could take forever.
"Let's go to the bathroom," he finally decided.
"Which one?" Luna asked, again without questioning why.
"The abandoned one, where Moaning Myrtle lives," Harry clarified. "She's always there. We'll ask her where the Lady is. Just let me do the talking—she's ridiculously sensitive... You stand guard, it is a girls' bathroom, after all!"
Luna silently nodded. Potter's logic seemed perfectly reasonable to her.
"Hey, Myyyyrtle!" he called fifteen minutes later. "Sweet little Myyyyrtle! Where are you? Show yourself, would you?"
"What do you want?" the ghost answered sourly, emerging from a toilet and nearly splashing Harry. "Come to make fun of me too? You're all the same..."
"No, I need your help," Potter replied honestly, settling on the edge of a sink.
"Help?" Myrtle echoed, floating before him and adjusting her glasses. "What kind of help could you possibly need from someone like me?!"
"Well, you know the whole castle and everything around it. Who else should I ask?" Harry said seriously, deciding to start with something else that had been bugging him for a while. "Listen, I heard there's a basilisk somewhere in the dungeons. I'm sure of it, but I don't know how to get there. Do you?"
"Why do you need a basilisk?" Myrtle asked, forgetting to cry for once. "Do you want to die and become a ghost too? That would be great! You could live here with me!"
"Uh... no, I'm just curious," he said. "See, a basilisk isn't just a dangerous creature—it's tons of rare potion ingredients! You get me? I want to bring a present to the professor, that's all!"
"Ooooh..." The ghost girl's expression changed to interest. "Well, I do know where it is. But as for how to get inside... There's a tunnel. But I don't know how to open it from the outside."
"Right, so I'd have to crawl through the plumbing..." Harry muttered under his breath. "Where does the tunnel start? Maybe I can open it."
"Right here!" Myrtle giggled. "But you'll never get in! Never!"
"Well, someone obviously has been there before. If they could do it, so can I," Potter huffed, scanning the room. "You're saying the tunnel starts here? Can you be more specific?"
Myrtle, clearly intrigued now, hovered over the very sink Harry was sitting on.
"Definitely through the plumbing," he sighed, examining the fixtures. "What's this scribble... Oh, a snake? Hmm… Myrtle, I'm going to call a friend. Don't freak out."
"Why would I freak out? I'm dead," she sniffed, then quickly asked, "What friend?! A girl?! So she can mock me too?!"
"Nah, you'll see..." Harry smirked and called out, "Shen! Hey, Shen, come here, I need you!"
From the far corner, a long snake slithered toward him, making Myrtle shriek and float higher.
"Wow, those are your friends?" she said with a shudder.
"What's wrong, Master?" Shen hissed.
"Remember you told me about the basilisk?" he asked. "I was just told the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is somewhere here, under the sinks. Can you check? You can squeeze into places I can't."
"It isss here," she confirmed after a quick inspection.
"Under this sink? The one with the snake on the tap? Cool! But how do I open it, that's the question..."
"Massster!" The snake sounded amused. "Command the sssnake to let you in!"
"Wow, I'm an idiot!" Harry smacked his forehead and poked the carved snake. "Open, Sesame!"
The tap glowed with an opalescent light and began to spin. Then the entire sink moved downward, sinking out of sight and revealing the gaping mouth of a wide pipe, inviting them to descend. Shen immediately slipped inside and disappeared.
"Whoa..." Myrtle breathed, looking at Harry with newfound respect.
"Yeah, pretty cool!" he agreed. "But I'm not going down there yet. Jumping in unarmed and alone would be... well... stupid. Thanks, Myrtle, sweetheart, you've been a great help!"
She turned a deep shade of gray with pleasure.
"Sesame, close," Harry ordered, and the sink returned to its original place. "Myrtle, listen, can you tell me where to find the Grey Lady right now?"
"Why do you need her?" the ghost asked suspiciously. "Oh, of course, she's beautiful, unlike me…"
"No, no, no!" Potter waved his hands frantically. "You misunderstood! I need to ask her something important, and I have no idea where to find her! Can't you call her?"
"As if she'd listen to me…" Myrtle sniffled. "She's a House ghost, and I… I…"
"I'd never have found the entrance to the Chamber without you! Come on, don't sulk—help me instead! Tell her it's about her mother's legacy and that it's really, really important… Do this for me, Myrtle? Be a good girl!" Harry hated to sweet-talk, but needs must. He put on his most heartfelt look and adopted the most sickeningly pleading tone: "Preeeetty please?"
"Oh, fine," the ghost agreed after a moment's thought. "But if she doesn't want to listen to me, it's not my fault!"
"Of course," Harry said quickly. "Just make sure you pass on my message… I'll wait here."
When Myrtle vanished, he peeked out into the corridor and asked Luna, who was standing guard:
"Well? No one's been by?"
"Plenty of people passed," she shrugged. "But no one looks in here, you know that… And no one finds it strange that I'm in odd places. I can always say I'm keeping watch over some rare creature that only lives here…"
"That's true," Potter smirked and went back inside.
He had to wait a little, but at last, Myrtle returned, looking extremely pleased with herself.
"The Grey Lady says it's beneath her to visit abandoned bathrooms, so she'll be waiting for you in the Trophy Room," she announced. "And hurry up!"
"Thanks, Myrtle!" Harry called. "If you were solid, I'd kiss you!"
Dashing outside, he grabbed Luna's arm and dragged her along.
"Find out?" she asked calmly.
"Yep," Harry replied. "When have I ever failed to dig something up? But now we have round two of negotiations, and convincing the Grey Lady to chat will be trickier than Myrtle…"
"I think you'll manage," Luna said with absolute confidence.
The Trophy Room was dim and gloomy, and in the far corner hovered the ghost of a very beautiful, sorrowful woman.
"Good evening, my lady!" Potter bowed slightly, catching his breath.
"You summoned me?" she asked. "What do you need?"
"Well, you see, I wanted to ask," Harry said, pulling a book from his bag, "this diadem in the illustrations—your mother's—is it drawn correctly? Or did the artist take creative liberties?"
"Almost correct," the Grey Lady replied with some surprise. It was clear she didn't like being questioned. "And on the statue, it's exactly as it was… But why do you ask?"
"I'm looking for it!" he said. "I really, really need to find it! Do you have any idea where it could've ended up? Please, my lady, this is extremely important!"
"I… I hid it." The ghost turned away. "In the forests of Albania. I don't know where it is now…"
"Damn! Albania is just what we needed!" Potter groaned, scratching his head furiously. "Okay… okay… but if the Dark Lord did stick a Horcrux in it, like my dear auntie says, then that means he actually found the diadem."
"What are you talking about?" the Grey Lady and Luna asked in unison.
"Oh, you don't know," Harry sighed and sat right on the floor. Luna settled beside him. "Basically, there was this nasty guy, a full-on Dark Lord. Made Horcruxes… Heard of those? You know, so if you die, you can come back to life later."
The ghost nodded; Luna remained silent, and Harry couldn't tell whether she was familiar with such a peculiar subject or not. With Lovegood, one could never be entirely sure what she did or didn't know.
"Anyway, since he had a massive ego, he picked the Founders' relics for his little experiments," he went on. "We've probably found the Cup. The Locket too. He definitely couldn't have put anything in the Sword. There was some other junk, but that leaves the diadem…"
"I think I know who you mean," the Grey Lady murmured thoughtfully. "There was a very talented boy who studied here once. I told him about Albania… You're only the second person I've ever told."
"Aha, so that must've been him," Harry nodded. "It all fits. He was a stubborn bloke—could've scoured every forest, checked every hollow… But where did he stash the thing after that?! Merlin's beard, finding it now is going to be a nightmare!"
"Wait," the ghost said suddenly. "He did return to Hogwarts. I believe he wanted a position teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, but the Headmaster refused."
"Not surprising," Potter scratched his head again. "Although, technically, the best person to teach defense is someone who's well-acquainted with the dark arts themselves… Hmm… Are you saying he might've hidden the diadem here at school? Oh, bloody hell…"
"What?" Luna asked.
"This place is so massive you could hide an elephant and no one would notice," Harry snorted. "I mean, there's a basilisk here. And they completely overlooked a troll once. So… Searching every nook and cranny would take a lifetime! Right, Luna, let's think logically!"
"Let's," she agreed.
"What places around here are practically impossible to stumble upon by accident? Classrooms and common areas are out—too many people around," Harry said, lifting the lid of a giant trophy cup and peering inside. "Empty, just as I thought… Damn, he could've hidden it in here and saved us all the trouble!"
The Grey Lady watched his train of thought with growing interest.
"Then there's the Chamber of Secrets," Potter continued. "We need to check there. Since our pal was a Parselmouth, he could've worked something out with the basilisk… Shen, darling!"
"Yesss, masssster?" the snake's voice soon echoed, and the Grey Lady let out a shriek identical to Myrtle's.
"Slither down to the Chamber and look for a diadem," Harry instructed, deciding there was no point hiding the snake from the ghost—surely the House spirit had seen it before. And besides, if not her, Myrtle would blab. "One like this, see?"
"Understood," Shen hissed and vanished.
"He might've tossed it in the lake," Harry mused. "But then, first, the merpeople would've told the Headmaster, and second, even if they hadn't, how would he have retrieved it…?"
"Accio," Luna suggested.
"Hmm… Accio, Ravenclaw's diadem!" Harry called, but nothing happened. "Didn't think so. If it were that easy, someone would've found it ages ago! Ha…" He chuckled. "Imagine the Dark Lord standing in the middle of the forest, yelling, 'Accio, diadem!'"
Luna nodded. Apparently, she could easily picture the scene.
"Then we have the Forbidden Forest. But all sorts of creatures roam there too... They could spot you, or just stumble upon you by accident. And you could get eaten yourself, just like that!" Harry scratched his nose for a change. "Luna, don't just stay silent—do you have no ideas at all?"
"The Room of Requirement," she said.
"Huh?"
"My dad told me about it," she explained. "It's a good place to hide things."
"Oh!" Potter jumped to his feet. "That works! Alright, let's go… Thank you, madam, for your time," he quickly added, bowing to the Grey Lady. "If we find the diadem, we'll return it to the House…"
The ghost let out a soft sigh and faded away.
"Listen," Harry said as they walked, "so you can hide anything there? But how do you get back in? I've got a little rest area and a mini-gym in there, but I've never seen any random stuff lying around..."
"Well..." Luna pressed a finger to the bridge of her nose. "You have to want it."
"What?"
"It's a room that responds to your needs. Whatever you need most, it appears," she explained. "Dad heard from someone that the storage area looks the same for everyone. And no one really knows how much stuff is in there."
"Aha… So I just have to wish to find a place where I can hide something," Potter concluded. "Alright, let's give it a try…"
It took him three attempts to land in the hidden storage room—before that, the Room of Requirement had conjured up something completely bizarre.
"Holy hell!" Harry exclaimed, taking in the vast hall, piled high with mountains of junk. "How many years has all this been gathering here?!"
"Probably since the Founders' time," Luna shrugged, looking around with interest.
"There must be tons of useful stuff here," Potter mused as he walked through the winding corridors formed by stacks of various objects. "And dangerous things too. So don't just grab anything at random! Who knows what kind of experiments people were doing in here..."
"Alright," the girl agreed. "How are we going to find the diadem?"
"I say we start with the good old method," Harry replied, pulling out his wand. "Accio, Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem!"
For a moment, nothing happened, and he was about to assume it had failed again when, off in the distance, a pile of books and trinkets began to stir. A makeshift "wall" collapsed, and something heavy smacked him right in the forehead.
"Great, thanks, but not in the face," Harry muttered philosophically, picking up the diadem. "Luna, does it look real to you?"
"It does," she nodded, examining the relic with interest. "Look, there's even an inscription…"
"Yep," he squinted at it. "Alright, let's stash the treasure… and have a little more look around! You don't mind?"
Luna shook her head. Harry stuffed the diadem into his bag and dove into the books.
"Whoa!" came his voice half a minute later. "The professor would kill for an artifact like this! Luna, help me dig! Here, take this… and this… and this one too! Pile them up over there…"
By the time they left the welcoming room, they were loaded down with all sorts of loot—books for Harry, and strange trinkets and decorations for Luna.
"Don't wear any of that," he warned. "Let's go to the professor first, have him check your finds—just in case they're dangerous."
Luna nodded and smiled. With Harry, it was absolutely impossible to get bored, just as it was impossible to predict what he'd do next. And she really appreciated people with a wild imagination.
…"Alright," Snape said, opening the door at their familiar knock. "So now you're bringing your little girlfriend along? What, you don't have anywhere else to be alone?"
"What kind of privacy is this if you're here?" Harry replied, dropping a pile of dusty tomes onto the desk. "This is for you, sir! Might come in handy…"
"Where did you get these?" Snape frowned but immediately buried his nose in the top book. "Hmph… You didn't rob the Restricted Section of the library, did you?"
"Oh no, sir, how could we," Potter replied innocently. "We just found them by accident, in that very room you told me about the other day. There's a whole treasure trove of this stuff in there! We just couldn't carry more—I haven't quite mastered shrinking charms yet, and levitating all of it would've been a nightmare…"
Snape let out a deep sigh. He already knew the Room of Requirement held plenty of valuable things, but he'd never had the time to go looking. No matter—apparently, Potter was more than willing to do the work for three people.
"Sir, could you check Luna's finds?" Harry asked. "Who knows what might be hidden in there… What if there's a Horcrux?"
"Potter, with your jokes…" the professor hissed but still reached for his wand. After all, who knew? "Alright… clear… clear… POTTER!!!"
"Yeah?" The boy gave him an absolutely innocent look, but it was obvious the trick had been planned in advance. When had the little menace managed to slip a massive tiara into the pile of baubles?!
"Where did you get this?!"
"Same place as the rest," he answered casually. "Actually, this was what we were looking for—the other stuff was just a bonus."
Snape sank into his chair, drained.
"Luna, be a dear and get the professor a Firewhisky—it's in the cabinet on the left," Harry said kindly and twirled Ravenclaw's diadem in his hands. "Well, sir, the collection's coming together, huh?"
Snape just let out a weary sigh. Stopping Potter once he got going was about as easy as halting the Hogwarts Express. At least that train had emergency brakes—this one didn't seem to have been built with any at all.
"Anyway, there's not much left," Harry said thoughtfully, watching as Snape took the glass from Luna and downed half of it in one gulp. "Now we just need to figure out how to destroy them. What were the options again, sir?"
"Fiendfyre, basilisk venom, or the Sword of Gryffindor," Snape replied automatically. "If it's in a living host, you'll have to kill them."
"Well, we'll manage with the snake somehow," Potter said optimistically. "We've got one of our own. As for the rest… Fiendfyre, if I remember right, is forbidden? I'd rather not set the school on fire… And going to the headmaster for the sword isn't ideal either… Oh, wait, why am I being so stupid?" He smacked his forehead. "We have a basilisk! We just need to figure out how to communicate with it. I'll send Shen on the mission—it's not like I have to go in myself… By the way, sir, I finally know how to reach it!"
"Miss Lovegood, just bring me the whole bottle, please," the professor requested.