System: [New Mission: Become the Top-Rated Butler at the Girls' Pop-Up Maid Café] Reward: +10 Charm, Special Item: Silk Gloves of Seduction Penalty: Maid Uniform Malfunction Event (Randomized)]
Me: "No. No way. Not again. You've already ruined my dignity, my reputation, and my spine. You will NOT put me in a—"
POOF!
I stared in horror at my reflection. White dress shirt. Tight black vest. Sleek slacks. Cat ears.
"...The tail is wagging on its own."
System: [Confidence Booster Activated. Tail is expressive. Don't question it.]
The pop-up maid café was a special event hosted by our university's Culture Festival. Cynthia's idea, of course. And somehow, I had been "volunteered" as the head butler.
"Welcome home, Master~!" Akira beamed, in a frilly pink maid outfit way too short for school rules.
"I can't do this," I muttered, as Nari walked by with a silver tray and cat ears to match. "I'll combust."
"You better serve with grace," she hissed. "Or I'll use this tray as a discus."
I straightened up immediately. "Would Master like tea, coffee, or… internal bleeding?"
The café was packed. Not because of the food, but because every girl on staff looked like she was ripped out of an anime waifu guidebook.
Cynthia leaned down toward a blushing guest. "Did you enjoy your omelet, sweetie~? Want me to write your name on it in ketchup?"
Insert blood fountain from the guy's nose.
Meanwhile, I was stuck serving the most unpredictable table: the fanservice panel, a group of girls led by Luna, who insisted on "evaluating" my performance.
"Ethan~" Luna purred, chin resting on her palm. "You missed a button on your shirt."
I glanced down. No, I hadn't. The button was gone.
System: [Malfunction Event Activated. Button Integrity: 0%]
Cynthia skipped over. "Time for the Maid Battle Event!" she announced. "Loser has to perform the Moe Moe Dance!"
"WHAT DANCE?!"
Cue the most humiliating five minutes of my life.
With pom-poms in hand and Luna filming everything, I chanted, "Moe moe~ kyun!" while the girls burst into tears—of laughter.
Even Nari cracked a smile. That terrified me more than anything.
System: [Audience Bond Increased. Feminine Mystique Unlocked. You Are Now 20% More Moe.]
"Delete me from this reality," I whispered.
After the café closed, we celebrated with a "staff-only party" back in the dorm.
And that's where things got truly sus.
The girls had changed into loungewear. Which, apparently, meant shorts and tank tops so loose they were hanging on by sheer willpower.
"We're doing truth or dare," Akira announced with a grin too wide.
"I'm out," I declared.
"Nope. You're the center of attention," Cynthia smirked, handing me a bottle.
First dare? "Wear this blindfold and guess who's feeding you cake."
Second dare? "Let us paint your abs in whipped cream."
Third dare? "Sit still while three of us redo your 'butler outfit' with custom touches."
Which meant cat ears… collar… suspenders… and glitter. Why was there glitter?!
By the end of the night, I was lying on the couch, surrounded by six overly affectionate girls who had all decided I was the "best boy."
System: [Mission Complete! Reward Unlocked: Silk Gloves of Seduction. +10 Charm added.] Title Gained: 'Moe Butler King']
I groaned.
"...This isn't character development," I muttered.
System: [You say that, but your stats say otherwise.]