There are moments in life when you realize the universe is laughing at you.
Like, full-on belly-laughing while eating popcorn and pointing.
For me, that moment was when our homeroom teacher—Professor Kalego, resident rage monster with the fashion sense of a bat—stormed into class and announced we'd be doing the Familiar Summoning Ritual.
A normal student would've been excited.
Me?
I was sweating bullets.
Because if memory served right… I was about to summon him.
Not a cute little imp.
Not a fluffy Cerberus.
Nope.
I was going to summon our terrifying teacher as my familiar.
Even my backup plans were starting to sweat.
"Line up, students!" Kalego barked, his eyes radiating death. "We begin with the summoning."
One by one, the students stepped forward, muttered their chants, and summoned creatures that ranged from "aw, cute" to "oh gods why does that one have twelve eyes."
Meanwhile, I was in the back, slowly panicking.
Asmodeus stood next to me, calm as ever. "Do not worry, Iruma-sama. No matter what beast you summon, I shall ensure it does not harm you."
Yeah, about that...
"I-I'm not really worried," I lied, smiling like a man who knew his fate was sealed. "Just... excited! Ha... ha..."
Asmodeus nodded. "Your courage is admirable."
No, dude. It's not courage. It's resignation. Huge difference.
Finally, it was my turn.
Kalego crossed his arms. "You. New student. Step forward."
I walked to the circle, legs shaking just a tiny bit. My hand clutched the scroll Sullivan gave me—again. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson about random scrolls, but no.
I took a breath.
Okay, here goes nothing...
"Summoning Chant—Activate!"
The circle lit up beneath me, glowing with demonic energy.
The students leaned in.
Kalego raised an eyebrow.
And then—
BOOM.
Smoke exploded from the circle.
I blinked, coughed, waved the smoke away—
And there, standing in the middle of the summoning circle, was...
Kalego.
Dead.
Silence.
You could hear a pin drop.
Or my soul leaving my body.
Kalego looked down at the circle. Then at me.
Then at the tiny little collar of obedience glowing faintly around his neck.
Oh no.
OH NO.
"What," Kalego said, voice eerily calm, "is the meaning of this?"
"I-I didn't mean to—!"
Worst possible defense. Nice, Iruma. Really nailed that one.
The students gasped.
Asmodeus looked mildly impressed.
And Kalego?
He was vibrating with so much rage, I'm pretty sure the air around him started to warp.
"You. Summoned. Me?" he hissed.
"Technically... yeah," I croaked.
I was going to die.
There would be no funeral. Just a crater where I used to be.
But then—the magic circle pulsed again.
A second glow surrounded Kalego.
The familiar contract was complete.
He was bound.
To me.
Forever.
The silence broke into chaos.
"What the hell?!"
"No way! Is that even possible?!"
"IRUMA JUST SUMMONED A TEACHER?!"
I backed away slowly, hands raised. "L-let's not panic. I'm sure this can be reversed—"
"It. Cannot," Kalego growled, eyes glowing with demonic fury.
Yup. Crater it is.
Back in the faculty room, Sullivan was doubled over laughing.
Opera had their hand over their mouth, trying to stay professional.
Kalego was drinking tea with the grace of a man resisting the urge to bite his cup in half.
Meanwhile, I just sat there, silently praying for a loophole in the contract.
Spoiler alert: there wasn't one.
"Iruma," Kalego said through clenched teeth, "you will address me with respect, familiar or not."
"Y-yes, Professor Sir Familiar?" I squeaked.
Note to self: sarcasm is not a survival skill.
Sullivan just kept laughing.
I couldn't tell if I was his grandson or his personal comedy channel.
Later, as I sat on the rooftop with Asmodeus, I sighed.
"That went... better than expected."
"You summoned a powerful demon as your servant," he said calmly. "That's not something most students could ever dream of. You are incredible, Iruma-sama."
I blinked.
Wait...
Did I just gain a second powerful demon under my control?
First Asmodeus, now Kalego?
I grinned to myself, pulling my cloak tighter.
Oh yeah.
Plans were falling into place.
Step One: Survive Demon School.
Step Two: Gain followers.
Step Three: Rule with a smile.
All while looking like the most harmless cinnamon roll in the world.