Normandy
Geth Heretic Station
The Sea of Storms
John K. "Jack" Shepard
I reached up and punched the release catch on my helmet. It broke apart with a hiss and I pulled it off, relishing the feel of the cool air of the Normandy's interior on my face. I wiped the sweat out of my eyes and risked a grin at Joker.
"Are we out of the radiation wave yet, or do I have a gruesome and painful death to look forward to?"
"Please, Commander," said Joker airily, fingers flying over his command console. "We'll be away from that geth station faster than you can blink."
"I'm sorry Mr Moreau, but I have to point out that the human body is quite capable of blinking faster than the Normandy is of escaping the station's relative proximity -"
"EDI, remember what I said about rhetorical statements?"
"That they were pointless and a waste of time?"
I laughed at the look on Joker's face. "She's got you there, man. Well done everyone. According to Legion, the rewritten program will eventually cause the geth heretics to abandon their worship of the Reapers."
The renegade geth whirred and buzzed. "The heretics will cease to be, and will be welcomed back into the greater geth community," it said in its monotonous, matter-of-fact voice.
"You really are the perfect communists, aren't you?" sneered Joker. "Marx would have a huge hard on for you guys."
Legion remained stationary for a moment, its headlight flashing. Then it spoke. "Marx = Karl Marx, human philosopher, economist and writer in Earth's early twentieth century. Seminal work Das Kapital theorised the creation of a true socialist utopia for humanity. Early work. Serious flaws. But conceptually intriguing -"
"Alright, that's enough history," I interrupted. "Get back down to the AI Core. I think we deserve a break after that little escapade."
"Shepard-Commander," acknowledged Legion, and walked away.
Tali stared at its retreating back, her posture suggesting hostility. "I don't trust that machine," she said, with some venom.
"I don't blame you," I said, "But as long as it's here, we can keep an eye on him. If it is telling the truth about geth heretics and a larger group of 'peaceful' geth, that would be very interesting, wouldn't it?"
"I'm afraid I don't see why," Tali said obstinately.
"Think about it, Tali. We know the Reapers are coming. We know the Citadel and the Council are woefully unprepared. We're going to need an army. And we might just need the geth."
Tali's head snapped towards mine before I could say anything else. "You mean...everything you've been doing...urging the Migrant Fleet not to go to war and so on. Keeping the cure for the krogan genophage. That was all preparation? For some future invasion?"
I put a finger to my lips. "Shhh. Mum's the word."
Tali didn't say anything. It was hard to tell whether she was impressed or frightened. Then she headed off in the direction of the engineering deck.
"Joker, give it to me straight," I asked him. "Am I insane?"
The pilot executed a little manoeuvre that made the Normandy leap forward before replying. "First of all Commander, insane people don't wonder whether or not they're insane. They think they're perfectly all right. So you're probably not insane."
"That's a relief."
"For the record, I think your plans are insane. You know the rest of the crew might not have noticed, but you're really planning far ahead, aren't you? Rachni, krogan, quarians, and now the geth...Jesus, Commander, you're essentially a warlord now."
"I know. But I have no choice," I griped. "The Council won't see reason. I might not have time later to build up our defences for the Reapers."
"I understand that, and the rest of us do too. We're all behind you. But from the point of view of someone who doesn't know you like we do, from the point of view of the rest of the galaxy, in fact...don't you see how you might appear?"
"Like what?" I asked.
"Think about it, Commander. Who was the last Spectre who amassed his own private army in defiance of the Council?"
"You don't mean – Saren?"
Joker nodded. "Spooky, huh?"
"I'm not indoctrinated!"
"We know that. But the Council and the rest of the galaxy don't. All I'm saying is be careful, Commander. Otherwise you might find yourself biting off more than you can chew."
Joker had always spoken his mind, regardless of the circumstances or occasion. It was something I liked about him, but it still annoyed me all the same. Joker had gone through hell to back me up when I was assumed dead and buried, however. That was something I wouldn't forget in a hurry.
"I hear ya, Jeff. We'll figure out how to deal with all of that later. But for now, the Collectors."
"Yes, sir."
I was pounding the hell out of a punching bag in the gym when the door opened and someone walked in. I was so focused on what I was doing I didn't notice until she started yelling.
"Oi! Shepard! Are you deaf or something?"
I lowered my arms and swept the hood off my face. To my surprise Jack was there, wearing something other than pants and multiple belts. She had on a sleeveless top made of some shiny black material, and she looked good in it.
"Hey, Jack," I said. "I like the new outfit."
Jack looked embarrassed, and refused to meet my eyes. "Yeah, well, I just wanted something else to wear."
"I think it looks nice."
"Yeah? Maybe I don't care what you think."
"And maybe I don't care that you don't care," I returned, as easily as a tennis serve. "Take it or leave it, that's how I feel."
Jack gave me a strange look. Then the beginnings of smile tugged the corners of her lips. "You're weird, Shepard. That kinda gets me off."
I leaned casually against the side of the boxing ring. "The feeling's somewhat mutual."
Jack laughed. "I figured. Always knew you were a freak under all that spit and polish, big Alliance hero crap."
"Maybe. What are you doing here anyway?"
"I went to find Samara," Jack said.
"Huh? Why?"
"She almost let you get killed. All for her stupid daughter."
"Now wait just a moment..." I began.
"I gave her a piece of my mind."
"Look, Jack, I walked into it with my eyes wide open," I said. "It was my choice, and it was my fault."
"I don't care. You could have been killed. I...I don't want that to happen, okay?" Jack said.
Did she just say what I think she did? "Neither do I," I said, unable to resist.
"One more wisecrack like that and I'll kick your ass," she threatened.
"Alright, alright. I'm sorry," I said, chuckling.
"It's just that...do you know what it's like to know that you're alone, and then find out you're not?"
"Pretty much, yeah," I said.
Jack made a noise of disapproval. "You don't have to agree so fast, you fucker."
"But it's true. Did you come here to discuss our relationship? Not that we officially have one yet, I'm not trying to rush you into anything," I said.
"I said I needed to think about it. Still do. It's just...this is so strange for me, and you just keep pushing. What am I supposed to do about that? Maybe if I wait long enough, you'll go away," Jack said morosely.
"That won't happen."
"How the hell can you say that? No one knows what's going to happen in the next few days. You could be blown up, I could be shot. All of us could fucking die."
"Maybe. But as long as I'm here, I'll wait for you, Jack," I said.
Jack had nothing to say to that, one arm hanging by her side, the other crossed over her chest. Then she started to speak, hesitantly.
"I need to know something."
"Yes?"
"Remember that girl you were with before. That Alliance bitch," Jack said, snarling the last few words.
"Ashley? What about her?" I asked.
"You said you were through. That it was over."
"Yeah, it is."
"If she came back to you...if she went on her knees and pleaded to take you back...would you do it?"
I hung my head. "No," I whispered. I'd made my choice.
"I thought you loved her."
"I did."
"And?" Jack challenged.
"Things have changed. She's not the woman I fell in love with, not anymore. I'm not the same man I was two years ago either. And I don't think things can be fixed between us."
"What if that happens to us? What if something comes along and breaks us up?" Jack demanded.
"I don't know the future. But I know myself. I care too much about someone else now. And while I'm standing, I'll do anything to make this work."
Jack stared at me, eyes blazing, daring me to come closer. I did.
"I'm asking you to take a leap of faith. I want this. I want us. Take a chance," I whispered.
"I...I want -"
EDI's glowing blue interface popped up suddenly. "Commander Shepard, Jack. XO Lawson requests your presence in the Briefing Room."
"For fuck's sake, you shiny blue piece of AI crap, can't you shut up for two seconds?!" raged Jack. I smiled and reached for her hand. She was not used to the contact. But finally, at long last, she didn't pull away.
"There'll be time for us later. Let's go find out what Miranda wants us for."
We walked, hand in hand, to the Briefing Room. Every specialist I had recruited was already there, waiting for us. Without a word Jack left my side and sidled away into the shadows, leaning against the wall. Once more I was the focus of attention.
I looked at Miranda, who was waiting at the head of the table. "Well?" I asked.
"I received a tip from Cerberus sources," she said, sounding excited.
"The Illusive Man?"
"Not precisely. But rest assured the information is reliable. The Collectors are going to strike another human colony within the next day. We have the chance to stop them."
I looked around at my assembled team. "This sounds like a priceless opportunity. This room alone contains the deadliest and toughest fighters in all the galaxy. I think we should be able to repel one Collector attack."
The room murmured assent. I nodded at Miranda. "Let's not waste any time," I said.
"Hey Commander?" buzzed in Joker on the intercom. "It looks like the Reaper IFF is hooked up and ready to go."
"That is not entirely accurate Mr Moreau," corrected EDI. "The device is powered, but it is causing unusual instability in other systems. I recommend a more thorough analysis before we attempt to use it."
I frowned. "We can't put our mission on hold forever. How long will this take?"
"Full scan? Who knows with this thing," said Joker. "Maybe you'd better take the shuttle for the colony defence."
"Alright. Let's get to the shuttle bay. Joker, the ship is yours."
"Aye aye Commander."
Cockpit
Normandy
Flight Lieutenant Jeff "Joker" Moreau
Pilot of the Normandy
"I'm telling you, EDI, your readings are off. It's just radiation bleed, white noise!" Joker said frustratedly.
"I have detected a signal embedded in the static. We are transmitting the Normandy's location," warned EDI.
"Transmitting? To who?"
The bridge shutters were open, Shepard liked to see the expanse of space rocket past while the Normandy was flying. This unfortunately allowed the crew of the Normandy to get a good look at the gigantic Collector ship that appeared out of nowhere, as if stepping out from behind a curtain. A cry of shock and dismay went up from the entire Bridge.
"Oh shit!" screamed Joker. "We're getting out of here!"
"Propulsion systems are disabled," reported EDI. "I detect a virus in the ship's computers."
"From the IFF? Damn it, why didn't you scrub it?"
"Primary defence systems are offline. I can help save the ship, Mr Moreau, but you must help me."
The emergency warning system had been sounded, the crew members springing into action. Shepard might have taken all the onboard specialists away for his mission, but the rest still could handle their guns. They took up positions near the airlock, ready to blast anything that poked its head round the door.
"Give me the ship," EDI asked.
"What? You're crazy!" retorted Joker. "You start singing Daisy Bell and I'm done!"
"Unlock my sealed databases, and I can initiate countermeasures. The maintenance shaft in the science lab will allow passage to the AI Core," EDI said. "The main corridors are no longer safe. The Collectors have boarded."
Joker struggled out of his seat, and fought to stay on his feet.
"Goddamnit."
Planetside
John K. "Jack" Shepard
"Where's this goddamn Collector invasion of yours, Miranda?" roared Zaeed irritably.
We had been waiting in our fortified positions for several hours now, without any sign of an attack. The colonists had been scared and nervous once we arrived and explained the gravity of the situation, but after all this time without even a hint of a bug-eyed abductionist, some had even returned to their daily duties, giving us curious looks.
"I don't know," she said tersely. "We should wait a while longer."
"We have been waiting hours beyond what your intelligence suggested the timing of the attack would be," pointed out Thane. "We serve no further purpose by remaining here."
"I don't understand it," muttered Miranda. "My sources are never wrong."
"They fucked up this time," said Jack loudly.
I stepped between the pair of them before another fight could erupt. "Something's not quite right. Let's just head back to the Normandy."
"Jack!" said Garrus urgently, running up to me. "I received a distress call from one of my security devices on board the Normandy."
"Who authorised you to place security devices on the ship, Mr Vakarian?" asked Miranda pointedly.
"Everyone else was doing it, I thought I'd join in on the fun -"
"Enough! Garrus, what's wrong?" I asked.
"The ship has been invaded, Jack. It's the Collectors. They're hijacking the Normandy!"
I turned my head and bellowed over my shoulder at the rest of my team. "BACK TO THE SHUTTLE! DOUBLE TIME!"
Normandy
Flight Lieutenant Jeff "Joker" Moreau
Joker clambered gingerly down the maintenance shaft located in Mordin's neat laboratory. The Collectors had overrun the Bridge, he still could hear Hadley's screams ringing in his ears.
"Multiple hostiles detected on the crew deck," reported EDI. Joker swore under his breath.
"Joker!" cried Hawthorne upon seeing the pilot. "The deck is crawling with those things. Stay close – I'll protect you!"
The two of them crept out of the Life Support area and onto the main floor. Hawthorne rushed around the corner, and was sent hurtling into the air, crashing against the wall. Joker gibbered in fear.
"AAAAAH!" screamed Kelly Chambers, writhing in the grip of a scion which was pulling her into the elevator. "Help me! Help me please!"
Joker closed his eyes for a moment, feeling incredible guilt wash over him. He liked Kelly a hell of a lot. But there wasn't a thing he could do to help her. He struggled onwards, following the emergency lighting to Dr Chakwas's Med Bay, and into the AI Core.
"Main fusion plant offline. Activating emergency H-fuel cells," reported EDI.
"Alright, I'm at uh – you," said Joker, hauling himself closer to a command console.
"Connect the core to the Normandy's primary control module," directed EDI.
"Great, this is where it starts. When we're all just organic batteries, guess who they'll blame? This is all Joker's fault, what a tool he was! I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord!"
There was a frantic burst of electronic whirring and clicking. Then the lights in the AI Core, previously dimmed, came on all at once.
"I have access to the defensive systems. Thank you Mr Moreau. Now you must reactivate the primary drive in Engineering."
"Ah, now I need to go crawling through the ducts again."
"I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees."
Joker gave EDI a look. Of all the time for her to grasp the concept of humour...
"That is a joke."
"Right."
Shuttle
John K. "Jack" Shepard
"I can't contact Joker or the rest of the crew," said Jacob. "The Collectors must have taken the communication systems offline."
"Can't you make this thing go faster?" I asked Zaeed, who was piloting the shuttle.
"I'm going full throttle as it is! Maybe you could shove the krogan overboard, that'll lighten the load."
Grunt growled menacingly.
"Just – hurry up. We need to save them!"
Normandy
Flight Lieutenant Jeff "Joker" Moreau
Joker hurried through the labyrinthine depths of the engineering deck. He wasn't sure, but he thought he could see the Collectors carrying away an unconscious Gabby and a kicking and screaming Ken. Whatever EDI was going to do, it was too late to save them.
"Activate the drive and I will open the airlocks as we accelerate. All hostiles will be killed," ordered EDI.
"What? What about the crew?"
"They're gone, Jeff. The Collectors took them," EDI replied dispassionately.
"Ah, shit."
Joker crawled into the Engine Room, and made some last minute adjustments.
"I am sealing the Engine Room," warned EDI. "Brace yourself."
There was a terrific jolt as the Normandy accelerated. Joker was thrown off his feet and onto the floor.
A moment that seemed to stretch forever. And then...
"Purge is complete. No other life forms detected on board. Securing airlocks and cargo bay doors."
Joker got to his feet, tears in his eyes.
"Send a message to Shepard's shuttle. Tell him what happened."
"Message away. Are you feeling well, Jeff?"
Joker limped off in the direction of the Bridge. "No. But thanks for asking."
Normandy
John K. "Jack" Shepard
"Everyone?" snapped Miranda, coming into the Briefing Room. "You lost everyone, and damn near the ship too?"
"I know, alright!" yelled back Joker. "I was here!"
"It's not his fault, Miranda," said Jacob. "None of us caught it."
"Mr Taylor is correct," interjected EDI. "The harmful data in the Collector drive was even more sophisticated than the black box Reaper viruses I was given."
"Have you considered, Miranda, that your so-called source might have led us away from the Normandy on purpose?" asked Tali pointedly.
"That has crossed my mind," said Miranda through gritted teeth. "I'll put a gun to his head the next time we meet."
"How are you holding up, El-Tee?" I asked Joker. He looked around, refusing to meet my eyes.
"There's a lot of empty chairs in here," he said mournfully.
"We did everything we could, Jeff," said EDI. Was it just me or were the two on first name terms now?
"Yeah. Thanks."
"Is the ship clean?" asked Garrus. "We can't risk something like this happening again."
"EDI and I purged the systems. The Reaper IFF is online. We can go through the Omega 4 relay whenever the Commander wants," EDI said.
"Don't even get me started about unshackling a damned AI," said Miranda archly.
"What was I supposed to do about Collectors, break my arm at them?" retorted Joker. "EDI helped me clear the ship. She's...she's alright."
"I assure you, I am still bound by protocols in my programming. Even if I were not, you are still my crewmates. You have treated me with respect, and I shall do the same."
I felt like smiling, the first such time since this whole debacle began. "Thanks EDI. We'll need all the help we can get."
"Sounds like we have everything we need to rescue the crew and finish the mission," observed Garrus, looking at me.
"We've done everything we can. It's time to take the fight to the Collectors," said Jacob.
I nodded. "Joker, to the Bridge. The rest of you, back to your stations."
Joker saluted. "Aye aye sir. Just punch up the Galaxy Map whenever you're ready."
I was sitting in my quarters, going over some reports. Not a single word engaged my brain, overshadowed by the overwhelming feeling of guilt hanging over my head. The Collectors had taken my crew. The men and women I had sworn to protect.
Mama always said a leader looked out for their crew, and I had failed to do so. I had given Joker the order to proceed at full speed towards the Omega 4 relay. I didn't want to waste another second while the lives of my crew were in danger.
I gave up trying to make sense of anything and sat back in my chair, my head in my hands.
Embrace your despair, Shepard, whispered a voice in the deepest, darkest corners of my mind. Accept your failure and acknowledge your defeat.
"Shut up," I said wearily. "Just leave me alone, Morinth."
The elevator hissed open, and someone stepped into my quarters.
"Shepard?"
I looked up to see the woman I had fallen in love with. Her lithe, slim body that belied the strength and power of an inferno, the tattoos that tried to bury the sensitive person deep inside.
My heart ached for her, for someone who could understand what I was going through. Someone who needed me as much as I needed her. I yearned to touch her again.
"I wasn't expecting you, Jack," I said.
"I was thinking about you, and what happened to the crew and...maybe you're right. That I need...something more than what I'm used to," she said.
I reached out and cupped her chin with my hand, gently turning her to face me.
"Hey, listen to me. It's alright. No more questions."
Jack let out a small, brief sob, and put her arms around me. I wrapped my hands around her waist as she cried into my shoulder. We stayed like that for a while, just savouring the feel of simple human contact. I didn't know how much I'd missed it until then. Someone to hold, to lean on in a time of crisis, and to do the same for them.
"Are you going to leave me?" she asked.
"Never," I whispered. "I've made my choice."
She held me tighter, head buried in my chest. I led her to the bed, and she lay down on her back, looking up into my eyes. I stared back, wondering at how something so beautiful had seen so much pain and horror, but was gradually healing to be the person I knew she could be.
I shrugged off my shirt, letting it slide down to the floor, and bent down to kiss her. Jack placed a hand on my chest, stopping me from going further.
"Shepard, I...I don't want to have sex. Not now. Please?"
I stopped short. Jack had told me stories of how she was raped when she was just a little girl by smugglers and slavers. Of how she was raped in the showers on Purgatory. In my haste to give in to my own desire, I had forgotten that Jack viewed sex differently from other people.
She had a ton of issues to work through before she was even ready for intimacy. But somehow, I didn't mind. We'd get through them together. As a couple.
"I mean, you'll probably think I'm a fucking psycho or something, leading you on and not -" Jack started, sounding anxious.
I stroked her cheek. "Hey. I understand. I'll wait. Until you're ready."
"What if...what if I'm never ready?" she asked, her voice trembling.
I looked into her eyes, and held her hand to my chest, close to my heart. "I don't mind. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to. I still l...I still care about you. Sex isn't that important."
Jack smiled as I brushed away a tear from her cheek.
"Thank you," she said.
She placed her arms around my neck and brought my head down for our first kiss. Her lips opened up slightly under mine, her teeth parting as I slid my tongue into her mouth.
We did nothing else for a while, just kissing, thrilling at the feel of her tongue sliding around mine, wet and willing and eager. I broke contact and lowered my lips to her collarbone, kissing her there, up her neck and tugging gently at her earlobe while her hands ran up and down my back.
She was breathing faster now, her hands growing more urgent. I caressed the sides of her head and kissed her again and again. I tasted the iron tang of blood and realised I had been a little too intense. But Jack didn't seem to mind. She reached for my hands, and I held hers, squeezing tight.
"Don't let go. Never let go," she said.
"I won't," I promised.
"Shepard...I think I'm in love you."
Oh.
I gave her another deep kiss, the kind that left her gasping for air. "I love you too," I said at last.
My pants were beginning to get tight, a testament to the flame that this incredible young woman had woken up within me. She knew it as well, could feel every last inch of my desire. But I was willing to wait. To not force the issue.
Throughout her whole life, Jack had been used by men who saw her as nothing but a piece of meat to satisfy their urges. With me she had opened up on a deeper, more intimate level. I would never betray that gesture of trust and acceptance.
We kissed and cuddled for hours, not doing anything more, just indulging in the touch of one lover to another that both of us had missed. Jack laid her head on my bare chest, and I cradled her with my arm, kissing the top of her head whenever I felt like it.
"This will be all over soon," she said to me. "We'll go through the relay and rescue the crew, and finish the mission."
"Whatever happens after that," I whispered, "I'll be by your side. We'll go anywhere we want. Together."
"I like the sound of that," Jack said sleepily. Her breathing changed and I knew she had drifted off. Below deck, Jack had always slept holed up behind some kind of cover, ready to spring awake at the slightest hint of trouble. Yet here she was, curled up in my arms, sleeping like it was the most natural thing to do, without a care in the world.
I closed my eyes, enjoying Jack's warmth close to me. I had missed the feeling of being in love, of going to sleep beside a person I loved. The voices in my head were still. Finally, I was at peace.