"Previously on Totally-Not-Your-Average-Isekai: I fused shock gloves and a vibrating sword, uppercutted a flying goblin, and now I'm hunting gangsters with a power level somewhere between Goku on a lazy day and Saitama doing cardio."
Current Quest: Eliminate the Rhino's East Side GangstersLocation: Brooklyn Docks – 11:32 PMTime until snack crate drops: 2 hours
Alexander crouched behind a rusty shipping crate, eyes scanning the makeshift base lit by floodlights and bad intentions. The gangsters were gathered, sipping from beer bottles, talking about crimes like it was Sunday brunch.
"Alright boys," said a big one with a mohawk and the IQ of a grapefruit. "The boss says we gotta move the Venom juice tonight. No screw-ups."
"Venom juice?" Alexander whispered. "Is that code for alien slime or really bad vodka?"
[Warning: Enemies Enhanced by Synthetic Symbiote Extract.]
"Of course it's alien slime. Because why can't anything in this universe be normal?"
He activated the Vibro-Blade Gauntlets, now humming with low-frequency doom. Time to go full anime betrayal arc.
Cue the J-Pop.("The Rumbling" by SiM blasts through his earbuds.)
Alexander charged in like a Fortnite skin with plot armor, slicing two thugs' weapons in half with a spinning punch, leapt off a shipping container, and dropkicked a symbiote-enhanced guy into a pile of tires.
One gangster pulled a shotgun.Alexander smirked.
"Oh no… a non-anime user. How tragic."
He teleported behind the thug—thanks to his new stealth upgrade—and delivered a precise liver punch that echoed like a wet drum solo.
[+10 Skill Points Earned][+5 Stealth][Loot Acquired: Tactical Turtleneck (Black)]
"YES. Every good assassin has at least one black turtleneck."
The remaining thugs tried to flee, but Alexander turned Lizard Mode on and hissed:
"Y'all ever fight a mutant weeb hopped up on fictional murder software?"
They didn't.They lost.Badly.
One teleport later…
Alexander, still lizarded-up, appeared outside a familiar house in Queens.
"Okay, okay, side quest. Return Peter Parker's USB drive… then eat literally everything in their fridge."
He forgot he was still half-lizard. Knocked anyway.
The door creaked open.
Aunt May blinked. Slowly. Calmly.
"...Is this a cosplay? Is this a Spider-Man villain? Is this a… what is this?"
Alexander panicked.Slammed the USB into her hand.Hissed awkwardly.
"Tell Peter... anime club meets Tuesdays."
Then he sprinted down the street on all fours like Godzilla's awkward cousin.
[DING!]
[Quest Complete!][Skill Upgrade: Parkour Lv. 2 – Now you can do flips for no reason.][Snack Crate Dropped – Contains: 1 Ramune, 3 Onigiri, 1 box Pocky (Strawberry), 1 Wasabi KitKat, 1 Egg Salad Sandwich, 1 Mystery Bento (possibly alive)]
Alexander flopped onto a rooftop, returned to human form, unwrapped a rice ball, and looked at the night sky.
"I'm a mutant swordsman assassin with anime powers and now Peter's aunt thinks I'm a furry. We're off to a great start."
He looked straight at you.
"Hey, reader. You still here? Because if you think this was nuts… wait until Chapter 6. Because Rhino's coming. And I've got a date with chaos, New York pizza, and maybe… just maybe… a hot goth chick with a sniper rifle."
[TO BE CONTINUED…]