It had been three years since he left us. I sat down at the balcony of the house imagining he would drive his car inside and park infront of the house. I would then run down the stairs and into his arms. He would give me the ice-cream and buns he bought from the eatery I loved. We would enter the house to meet mum at the dining table and they would hug. He would ask of my assignment and go through them. Tears dropped down my eyes when I remembered that it was all an imagination. He was gone. He wouldn't return ever again.
I recalled the day like the back of my palm. It was fresh in my memory. I was at home with mom expecting him to drive in. We were putting finishing touches to the celebratory meal we made. He had just been promoted to the post of the Assistant General Manager of HighStone bank, one of the notable banks in the country. Mum had a call which she rushed out to pick. I was waiting for her to return when I heard her scream. On rushing out, she was on the floor holding her chest. I tried to get words out of her mouth but she couldn't talk. Then I noticed that the calller was still talking. I picked and the voice said my father was involved in a ghastly motor accident on his way home from work.
Getting to the hospital, he was proclaimed dead on arrival. My heart was shattered. My best friend had left me alone. I had no one left.
I thought there was God. Why didn't God save him? He was a regular church member. Infact, he was one of the council members of the. church. He was devoted, paid tithes and offerings, fasted and prayed severally and encouraged us to do the same. Why did God abandon him when he needed him most? I heard stories of God raising a man called Lazarus in Pre-teen Sunday school. Why didn't God raise him?
Maybe it was all a facade. Maybe I was made to believe what wasn't true. Mom tried to make me believe that there was still God but I am done believing trash.
He doesn't exist.