Chapter 9: "Earth's Mightiest Nobodies"
Alt title:Woo Jin-Chul Regrets Everything
Scene:Deadpool is now sitting in a sleek, sterile Hunter Association interrogation room. Handcuffed, for no reason—he could break them, but he's choosing chaos.
He's kicked his feet up on the table. Whistling. Still wearing his full suit, blood-splattered and partially singed.
A security camera in the corner watches silently.
"Hey, Nexus? Bet I can make the camera guy spit his coffee in the next five minutes."
Woo Jin-Chul enters.Closes the door quietly. Sits opposite Deadpool. Places a file on the table—Deadpool's "case," which is basically just a pile of question marks and a photo of him grinning with the toothbrush.
Woo: "Let's start simple. Name?"
Deadpool leans in dramatically.
"Deadpool. Aka Wade Wilson. Aka Canada's Sexiest Weapon. Aka the Regenerating Degenerate. Aka—"
Woo: "...Just one is fine."
Deadpool grins. Then leans back.
"Right. So you wanna know where I'm from, huh? Buckle up, buddy."
What follows is a chaotic rant.
Deadpool starts listing everyone:
"I worked with the X-Men. Sort of. Not officially. They're snobs.I once teamed up with Spider-Man. Witty guy, better ass than people give him credit for.The Avengers? Yeah. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk—you'd love Hulk. Big guy, green, rage issues, just like your ogres.Then there's Doctor Strange. Multiverse stuff. Super chill for a wizard.Oh, and Wolverine—he's like if you gave a raccoon knives and trauma."
Woo Jin-Chul is dead silent. Face blank.
"...You know none of those names, do you?"
Woo: "No."
"Not even Spider-Man?"
"Is that some kind of... spider-type monster?"
"WHAT?! No! He's got movies! Merch! A whole cinematic universe!"
Woo: "We have no record of any of these people. No heroes. No comics. No... Marvel?"
Deadpool slowly turns his head to the camera, voice flat.
"Author. What kind of backward-ass universe is this? They don't even have comics?! I demand a rewrite."
Woo is genuinely baffled.
"So you're saying... you're from another world. With capes. And aliens. And... raccoon mercenaries?"
"Yes. Finally, someone who's listening. Also, Rocket takes offense to that."
"And now you're here. With no mana, no aura, no ID, and a healing factor that breaks every medical law we have."
Deadpool nods.
"Welcome to the Nexus Framework, baby."
Woo Jin-Chul closes the file.
He stands, rubbing his temples.
"I'm going to need backup. And possibly a priest."
Deadpool waves.
"Can you also bring snacks? I'm burning calories just being this iconic."