Chapter 8: "Legendary Lootbox, My A**"
Alt title:Brush Your Teeth, You Filthy Casual
Scene:Deadpool's hyped. He's been grinning at the air like a madman. EXP gained. Stat points used. Time for the cherry on top: the lootbox.
He slaps the "Open" button with the energy of someone expecting Excalibur.
[DING!]
Lootbox Opened
You have received: Toothbrush (Common)
Description: Your breath smells like old tacos and regret. Please brush.
Effect: +1 Charisma (if you actually use it)
Silence.
Deadpool stares.
"…what."
He blinks. Slowly.
"No. No no no. You did not just give me a toothbrush. I fought a Hulk-sized ogre. I got pancaked into a car. I regenerated an entire arm. And you're telling me... I earned... a toothbrush?!"
He stands up and SCREAMS at the sky.
"AUTHOR. LISTEN HERE, YOU TACO-STUFFING KEYBOARD GREMLIN. I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING. YOU HYPED THAT BOX LIKE IT WAS GOING TO DROP A DIVINE KATANA. YOU TEASED ME. YOU PLAYED ME. AND YOU GAVE ME A TOOTHBRUSH?!"
[DING!]
Please calm down before we reduce your LUK further.
"DO IT. I DARE YOU."
From Woo Jin-Chul's POV?
Deadpool has now fully stood up, screamed at the sky, waved a literal toothbrush in the air, and is currently arguing with... no one.
Agent: "Sir… do we detain him, or call for a psychologist?"
Woo Jin-Chul: sighs, walks forward himself.
He approaches slowly, hands raised, like Deadpool's a wild animal or a very glitchy NPC.
Woo: "Sir. I'm Woo Jin-Chul, Deputy Director of the Korean Hunter Association. I have... a lot of questions. Starting with: who are you?"
Deadpool turns. Puts on his best fake smile. Holds the toothbrush like a microphone.
"Name's Deadpool. No rank. No guild. No clue how I got here. But if you've got monsters, I've got time. And katanas. And this toothbrush, apparently."
He extends his hand—then immediately pulls it back and mock-whispers:
"Just kidding. I still have blood on me from the guy I exploded earlier."
Woo Jin-Chul stares, deadpan.
"This is going to be a long report."