Turns out, when you have like twenty extremely powerful ninja working together, stealing a ship is about as difficult as stealing candy from a sleeping baby.
And in Naruto's personal handbook, that was the best kind of mission: easy, smooth, and with zero life-threatening explosions (for now).
Kurenai handled the big stuff. She stepped forward, her crimson eyes flashing, and casually threw down an illusion so massive the whole port might as well have been asleep.
The guards blinked twice, muttered something about "nice weather," and walked off the ship like polite zombies heading to a bakery.
Meanwhile, the rest of us just strolled aboard like we owned the place.
Honestly, it almost felt illegal how easy it was.
Choji (aka Team's New Favorite Cook) did a supply run — his backpack stuffed with enough food to survive a zombie apocalypse and still have leftovers for dessert.
Once everyone was on board, and the coast was clear, we raised the sails and yeeted ourselves out of port before anyone could blink.
Goodbye, Loguetown.
Hello, whatever-crazy-pirate-world we were in now.
Our first stop was figuring out how badly we could mess up this world.
Spoiler: Pretty badly.
Naruto (that's me, your charming narrator) was already at monster levels of power, with sage mode, fuinjutsu, and enough absurd jutsu to make even the biggest bad guys cry.
Kakashi, my old sensei, still the chill, one-eyed legend himself, could annihilate half a city before breakfast.
Sakura was basically Tsunade 2.0 — imagine a sweet-faced girl who could punch through mountains. Now double it.
Gai and Lee had their insane Eight Gates thing. You know, opening your body's natural limiters and turning into a glowing wrecking ball of doom.
(Lee was practically bouncing in excitement. Gai was already planning "youthful pirate adventures." Somebody, please stop them.)
Tenten, our weapons specialist, could literally flatten a town with her personal arsenal. I once saw her pull a spiked iron fortress out of a scroll like it was no big deal.
Gaara — sweet, spooky Gaara — could drown a town in a tsunami of sand if he was feeling cranky.
Kankuro wasn't there yet, but the dude had jacked a ton of crazy puppets from that Akatsuki guy... what was his name again? Saucer? Sushi?
(Sakura shouted from the deck: "Sasori, you blond idiot!")
Right. Sasori. Now Kankuro had an army of puppets to command, which was horrifying when you thought about it.
Shino... Shino was nightmare fuel for normal people. He could just... unleash clouds of venomous insects by the hundreds of thousands.
(Seriously. If you didn't know him, you'd have nightmares forever.)
Kiba? Animal guy. Bark, bite, and a loyal dog sidekick who could body-slam you through a wall. Practical if we needed to track something. Or someone.
Choji — our food expert. No complaints. Good food equals good morale. I respected that.
Hinata blushed when we assigned her the role of scout and sniper. Her Byakugan had insane range, and if she wanted to, she could probably strike you dead before you even knew she was there.
(Hinata being a low-key sharpshooter was honestly adorable and terrifying.)
Shikamaru was our brains — the guy who could probably take over this whole world if he wasn't so terminally lazy.
Still, I knew he had a little chaos hiding in him somewhere. I mean, I wasn't blind.
I was blonde.
Now, with the wind at our backs, a stolen (but way cooler) ship under our feet, and enough firepower to conquer a country… And, I was liking the sound of that somehow.
Regardless, we were officially on our way.
Target: the Marine HQ.
Mission: find a way home.
Also Mission: don't accidentally start a war.
No promises on that last one.
--------------------------
Turns out, stealing a ship and sailing into the unknown wasn't the dumbest part of our plan.
Nope.
That award went to what came next.
We all gathered around the map Choji had definitely not wiped barbecue sauce on (he swore it was a "battle stain"), and took a good long look.
"Okay," Shikamaru said, tapping the map with that I'm-too-smart-for-this nonsense expression. "Technically, we could just skip everything and head straight for the World Government capital."
He pointed at a tiny dot sitting smack on a massive mountain range called the Red Line.
Kiba whistled low. "That's, uh... far."
"Yeah," Naruto said, scratching the back of his head. "And I don't like it. Kinda screams 'certain death' to me."
"Very youthful!" Lee declared, already hopping from foot to foot like an overexcited golden retriever. "Imagine the glory! I challenge the strongest foe to a duel for the honor of Konoha—!"
"No," half the team said at once.
(Well, Kurenai said no. Naruto just threw a chunk of bread at Lee's forehead.)
"We're not dueling them, Lee," Naruto said, exasperated. "This is not a shonen manga, this is real life! Well—"real-er life."
Lee pouted in a way that almost made you feel bad. Almost.
Sakura folded her arms and gave her patented "you're all morons" sigh. "Look, pirates in this world have powers that can destroy islands. Plural. If that's what pirates can do, imagine what the guys running the government are packing."
Hinata, quietly nodding beside her, muttered, "Not ideal to storm the capital."
"Exactly!" Shikamaru said, looking absurdly relieved that at least one person had a brain. "We're ninja. We need to act like ninja."
Which basically meant sneaky stuff. Stealth. Espionage. Kidnapping if necessary. (Y'know. The usual.)
"So what's the new plan?" Kankuro asked, casually spinning a throwing knife between his fingers.
Naruto grinned. "Easy. We travel the Grand Line, beat up some pirates, fight a few marines, experience the crazy magic powers this world has, and gather real info."
"And maybe steal a few cool things while we're at it," Kiba added, wagging his eyebrows.
"Maybe," Naruto agreed, flashing his fox grin. "Definitely."
Basically: live our best pirate ninja lives for a bit without ending up imprisoned, experimented on, or exploded.
That last part was important.
(Especially for guys like Kiba, who had Big 'accidentally causes explosions' energy.)
Strategic Goals:
Don't pick fights with Yonko-level monsters unless we're bored and suicidal.
Kidnap someone important later. Preferably when they're alone. And napping.
Learn about this Devil Fruit magic stuff.
Find an easier way home.
(Optional) Steal as much treasure as humanly possible without becoming full-time pirates.
Naruto clapped his hands, "Alright team! Time to make some memories!"
"And not the kind where we get thrown into prison for eternity," Shikamaru muttered under his breath.
We set course for the Grand Line, heading toward the biggest adventure we never asked for.
And if the world wasn't ready for us yet?
Well, tough luck.
Because Konoha's finest were about to flip this whole world upside down.
---------------
The ship was finally moving.
Asuma had somehow claimed the wheel like he'd been born to sail, a cigarette dangling from his lips and a "trust me, I've seen pirates" kind of vibe. Kurenai stood beside him, map in hand, pointing directions and arguing about why no, he couldn't just "feel it out like the ocean would guide him."
Below deck, Choji was busy converting the kitchen into something out of a five-star restaurant. The smell of grilled meat already filled the air, making even Naruto's stomach rumble.
Tenten, meanwhile, had claimed the ship's armory like a dragon hoarding treasure. She was checking, cleaning, loading, and somehow upgrading the ship's cannons.
By the time she was done, even a Yonko ship would think twice before picking a fight.
The ship itself—Naruto really had to admit—was gorgeous. A proper captain's ship with fancy rooms, multiple decks, and thick armor. It even had shiny railings and fancy lanterns.
(Which was why Kakashi had made Naruto repaint the whole thing and stitch a new flag—one without the Marine logo, obviously.)
Up on the highest deck, Shikamaru was snoozing with his cap pulled over his eyes like an old man on vacation. Occasionally his fingers twitched, like he was dreaming about punching Naruto for waking him up.
Hinata and Neji were practicing archery on the main deck, their Byakugan activated. The Hyuuga really were freaks of nature—hitting tiny wooden targets Naruto couldn't even see at crazy distances.
Kiba and Shino were plotting something shady involving the local wildlife. Naruto wisely decided not to ask.
(Yet.)
And Ino… well, Ino was bossing everyone around with decorating tips.
("We are NOT living on an ugly ship, guys! This is our image! Our brand!")
Naruto watched it all from the railing, feeling a little restless. It was weirdly peaceful.
No explosions.
No bloodthirsty Akatsuki members around the corner.
No world-ending threats breathing down his neck.
Just friends. And an endless ocean.
Still, peace was boring.
Naruto needed something fun.
His eyes drifted to Gaara, sitting cross-legged beside Kankuro, who was busy tinkering with a puppet the size of a small building.
Gaara looked... bored.
Like, seriously bored.
His sand swirled lazily around him, shifting shapes without any real effort.
Naruto grinned.
"Hey, Gaara," he said, sauntering over. "Wanna race?"
Gaara blinked at him, slow and confused. "Race?"
"Yeah! In the sky!" Naruto said like it was the most normal thing ever. "C'mon, it's not like we have Akatsuki breathing down our necks. Let's live a little!"
Gaara stared at him.
He was the Kazekage. He had responsibilities.
...And Naruto was giving him the biggest, dumbest, most sincere grin ever.
"Fine," Gaara sighed.
Victory.
Naruto quickly formed white, feathery wings on his back using a Transformation Jutsu, flexing them like a show-off. Gaara copied him, the wings a little too stiff, a little too... floppy.
When Gaara tried to take off, he flailed like a drunk pigeon, rising about a foot off the ground before crashing face-first into the deck.
"Uhhh," Naruto coughed, trying not to laugh. "Maybe practice a little first."
Gaara, who normally had the dignity of a mountain, nodded solemnly from the floor. His sand gently lifted him back up like a grumpy cloud.
Thus began Flight Practice: Disaster Edition.
Naruto coached from the side like some hyperactive sensei, while Gaara slowly learned how to stay airborne without crashing into things.
Hinata and Neji paused their archery to watch.
Kiba howled with laughter.
Ino took pictures.
Tenten threatened to shoot Gaara down if he crashed into her cannons again.
But Gaara didn't quit.
And Naruto?
He couldn't stop smiling.
---------------
Naruto was doing loops in the sky now, a blur of white wings and golden hair against the endless blue.
Gaara hovered after him, a bit more controlled but still a little stiff. He wasn't crashing into the water anymore, so Naruto counted that as a win.
"Not bad, Gaara!" Naruto shouted over the wind. "You're almost flying like a real bird! A really, really serious bird!"
Gaara gave him a flat look mid-air.
But before either of them could think of another dumb race idea, Naruto's sharp eyes caught something in the distance.
A ship.
A pirate ship.
And not just any ship—it was packed to the brim with at least a hundred rough-looking pirates waving swords, guns, and bottles of rum around.
Naruto's grin turned downright devilish.
Gaara's sand began to swirl around him excitedly.
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Naruto asked, eyes gleaming.
Gaara only nodded once.
(Which in Gaara-language was the same as yelling "HELL YEAH!")
Naruto dive-bombed first, a white streak dropping out of the sky like a missile.
The pirates barely had time to scream before he slammed into the deck with a loud BOOM, sending splinters flying and knocking half the crew on their butts.
"Oi, oi!" Naruto called out cheerfully. "Sorry to drop in uninvited! Mind if we borrow your ship for target practice?"
The pirates pulled their weapons, looking more furious than frightened.
Which made it even funnier when Gaara descended like a ghost, his sand forming a giant claw that grabbed half the ship and squeezed it like a stress ball.
Meanwhile—
From the ship they'd stolen earlier, Kiba had been watching with growing excitement.
He punched the railing. "No fair! They're hogging all the fun!"
Akamaru barked in agreement.
Without hesitation, Kiba dashed off the deck, running across the water with chakra-enhanced feet, leaving a splashing trail behind him.
Back on the ship, Hinata watched him go—and after a second of hesitation, she tightened her gloves and pulled out her bow.
She felt Neji's presence beside her, calm and encouraging.
"You should go too," he said, smirking slightly. "Naruto likes girls who can jump into the chaos with him."
Hinata turned bright red.
But then, shyly determined, she drew an arrow, aimed with her Byakugan flaring, and fired—a perfect shot that pinned a pirate's sword hand to the mast without touching a hair on his head.
Neji gave her a rare, proud smile.
"Good shot, Hinata."
Blushing furiously but smiling back, Hinata launched herself into the air with a burst of chakra, landing gracefully on a floating chunk of Gaara's sand as she kept sniping enemies from above with deadly precision.
Meanwhile—
Kiba had already arrived, kicking pirates into the water left and right, laughing like a maniac.
Gaara was forming a massive sand dome around half the pirates, trapping them in place.
Naruto zipped from pirate to pirate, tapping their foreheads and knocking them out cold with gentle bursts of chakra.
Hinata's arrows whistled through the air, taking out weapons, knees, and occasionally pinning two pirates together by their shirts.
Kiba was fighting three pirates at once while Akamaru played "bowling ball," knocking enemies off their feet.
It was a one-sided slaughter, honestly.
At some point, Naruto perched on a mast and cupped his hands around his mouth, shouting:
"Hey, anyone wanna surrender now and tell us where all the good stuff is?! Promise we won't drop you into the ocean! Maybe!"
One pirate, tied up in Gaara's sand, whimpered.
"I'll tell! I'll tell everything!! Please don't kill me!!"
Naruto beamed. "See? That's the spirit!"