Chapter 9: The Day I Married an Uber Driver (by Mistake)
After the night vigil, I promised myself:
"Kelvin, no more drama. Just mind your business."
So when I ordered an Uber to town the next day, I sat quietly in the back seat, sipping my sachet water and behaving myself.
At least, that was the plan.
The driver was a cheerful woman named Akosua.
We got talking about life, struggles, and her dream of opening a small restaurant one day.
Next thing I knew, she said:
> "In our tradition, if you share water with someone on a journey and bless them with words, you are automatically bonded forever."
I laughed nervously and said:
> "God bless your hustle, Madam!"
She smiled sweetly and said:
> "Awwww... Husband!"
I thought it was a joke.
It wasn't.
We got to my stop, and she called her auntie on speaker:
> "Auntie Abena! Good news! I've finally found him! My husband!"
Before I could even open the door, a family WhatsApp group had been created titled "Welcome Kelvin to the Family."
Messages were flooding in:
"Yieee, congrats, Akosua!"
"Finally, our family curse is broken!"
"Kelvin, you must come for introduction ceremony next Saturday!"
Meanwhile, I was still in the backseat, holding my empty water sachet like evidence for a crime I didn't understand.
I didn't even know how to tell them I was just trying to get to Makola market.