Chapter 21: My Gym Membership That Turned Into a Medical Emergency
After getting fired as a waiter, I said:
"Kelvin, maybe your problem is physical. Get stronger. Join a gym. Become a beast!"
So I signed up at Iron Temple Gym.
The slogan was:
> "No pain, no gain!"
Day 1: I entered like I owned the place.
Everyone was HUGE.
Biceps like mango trees.
Abs like concrete blocks.
Meanwhile, I looked like a slightly angry breadstick.
But I wasn't afraid.
I picked up the smallest dumbbells (2kg) and started curling like I was in the Olympics.
That's when it happened.
Coach Kwesi — a giant built like Thanos — shouted:
> "BRING THOSE 20KG DUMBBELLS TO ME!"
Wanting to impress everyone, I ran to carry the 20kg dumbbells.
Both of them.
I underestimated how heavy they were.
Way too heavy.
As I lifted them, my arms started shaking violently like a Nokia phone on vibrate.
Before I could even blink,
BOOM!
One of the dumbbells slipped out of my hand —
— and landed right on a bodybuilder's toes.
The man ROARED like Simba's father falling off the cliff.
He hopped around the gym on one foot, shouting words not found anywhere in the Bible.
The entire gym froze.
Coach Kwesi came to me, looked deep into my trembling soul, and said:
> "Kelvin... maybe start with yoga."
I took the hint.
That was the beginning and end of my gym journey.
Now I lift only groceries — and even that, carefully.