Chapter 19: The Assemblyman Inspection
Just when I thought life had thrown all its punches, Monday morning came with bonus rounds.
Around 8:45am, while I was brushing my teeth outside, wearing my "don't-look-at-me" faded shorts, a small convoy of motorbikes pulled into the compound.
Behind them:
a man in a shiny oversized safari suit, sunglasses indoors, and confidence that didn't match his shoe size.
He was followed by two guys with clipboards and one man holding a loudhailer — for reasons known only to God.
I froze, toothbrush in mouth.
"Good morning! Assemblyman for this area coming to inspect sanitation issues. Line up, residents!"
Line up?
This wasn't WAEC exams — it was my house!
But before I could disappear into my room like a fugitive, the Assemblyman pointed at me and said:
"You! You look like someone with information. Lead us to the damaged area."
Toothbrush still in hand, I became the unofficial tour guide of my own shame.
I showed them the pipe.
The flooded corner.
The now-yellow wall that used to be cream-white.
The Assemblyman nodded like a prophet at a revival:
"Mmm... bad sanitation. Very bad. You see? This is why cholera dances in Ghana."
He turned to his assistant:
"Take note. This house needs urgent..."
He paused for dramatic effect...
"Government Attention."
Ah. What does that even mean?
He turned back to me:
"My friend, what is your name?"
"Samuel, sir."
"Samuel, you must form a Sanitation Taskforce for this house. Appoint a secretary and a treasurer. Print letterhead."
Letterhead?
For my single room disaster?
Then he pointed to my bucket — the same bucket I used to bathe, scoop flood water, and sometimes do laundry in.
"This is not regulation plastic. You need a government-approved container. We are fighting sanitation from the roots."
I couldn't even laugh. I just nodded like a hostage.
As they left, one of them handed me a flyer with a bold title:
"Clean Ghana, Save Your Waist"
And underneath it:
"Sponsored by the Office of The Hon. Assemblyman (In Partnership With Himself)"
End of Chapter 19