I stared at my phone, the words of the Harem Streamer System burning into my retinas.
『Harem Streamer System: Affirmative. Heroine affection levels are directly correlated with viewer engagement and System rewards. Pairing is essential for maximizing efficiency.』
"Pairing?" I muttered, my voice cracking slightly. "What am I supposed to do, ask her out on a date on stream? Serenade her with a power ballad while fighting a giant robot?"
The System's response was, predictably, unhelpful.
『Harem Streamer System: Detailed pairing protocols will be unlocked upon achieving 50,000 concurrent viewers. Current concurrent viewers: 12. Recommendation: Increase stream quality and sex appeal.』
"Sex appeal?" I sputtered. "I'm wearing a repurposed motorcycle helmet and talking through a voice modulator that makes me sound like a bear with indigestion! How am I supposed to be sexy?!"
My apartment, bless its tiny, soy-sauce-scented heart, offered no answers. The posters of Metro City's top heroines – Miss Mercury, Lady Fortress, Rope Girl – seemed to be mocking my predicament. Especially Rope Girl, with her… well, her everything.
A shiver ran down my spine, and it wasn't entirely unpleasant.
"Okay, okay, deep breaths, Scott," I told myself. "Think. What do streamers do to get viewers? They… they do challenges! They react to stuff! They… they show off their… their… "
My gaze drifted to my meager collection of workout equipment – a rusty dumbbell, a yoga mat that smelled vaguely of mildew, and a resistance band that had probably seen better decades.
An idea, as ridiculous as it was terrifying, began to form in my mind.
That evening, I set up my streaming rig with a newfound sense of determination (and a healthy dose of dread). I'd even cleaned my apartment, which was a heroic feat in itself.
『Harem Streamer System: Welcome back, host! Tonight's objective: Operation Buff Up! Projected viewer increase: 200%. Potential heroine affection level increase: Significant.』
"Oh, joy," I grumbled, adjusting the camera angle to capture my… my physique. I was reasonably fit, I guess. Years of running from bullies and the occasional supervillain had kept me in decent shape. But I wasn't exactly Mr. Universe.
The stream started, and the viewer count slowly began to climb. People were curious, if the chat was anything to go by.
[TotallyNotABot: Is he… is he wearing workout clothes?]
[RopeGirlLover69: OMG is he gonna do ASMR weightlifting?!]
[MissMercuryPantyStrip888: I hope he takes his shirt off! >.<]
I ignored the more… enthusiastic comments and cleared my throat.
"Greetings, viewers! Tonight, we embark on a journey of… self-improvement! I, uh, will be demonstrating my… my workout routine!"
I picked up the rusty dumbbell and did a few bicep curls, trying to look casual and confident, even though my arms were already starting to shake.
『Harem Streamer System: Form is suboptimal. Muscle engagement: 47%. Sex appeal: Minimal. Recommendation: Remove shirt.』
"Remove my shirt?!" I yelped, nearly dropping the weight on my foot. "Are you out of your digital mind?!"
But the System was relentless. It bombarded me with pop-up notifications, each one more insistent than the last.
『Harem Streamer System: Warning! Viewer retention decreasing! Heroine affection levels stagnant! Remove shirt for optimal results!』
I glanced at the chat. The comments were… mixed.
[TotallyNotABot: He's kinda cute, but he needs to commit to the bit.]
[RopeGirlLover69: Shirtless or riot! >:( ]
[MissMercuryPantyStrip888: YES PLS! 🤤 ]
With a sigh of resignation, I ripped off my t-shirt. The apartment suddenly felt ten degrees colder. And a lot more… exposed.
The chat went wild. The viewer count skyrocketed. And the Malice Media System chimed with unholy glee.
『Harem Streamer System: Shirtless buffoonery protocol initiated! Viewer engagement: Maximum! Heroine affection levels: Rising! Congratulations, host! You are now officially a… Sexyman?』
"Sexyman?!" I exclaimed, flexing my (admittedly mediocre) biceps. "I'm not a Sexyman! I'm… I'm a guy trying to figure out how to use a Harem Streamer System without dying of embarrassment!"
But it was no use. The System had decided my fate. I was now apparently a… a beefcake streamer. And for some reason, it was working.