My body trembles slightly, my breathing gets a little heavier and as I look at the barrel not too far away, I can't help but take a few steps backwards.
Where did that thing come from?
I squint my eyes in confusion, my mind working on trying to explain the sudden appearance of the barrel, however, even after a few minutes in silence, I cannot find a logical explanation.
It's a magical thing, though, the more I watch the barrel just being there, the more my mind calms down.
As I calm my breathing I begin to take a few steps forward, perhaps I should simply escape from this place to my room, ignore this barrel that suddenly appeared, however, the mere existence of such a thing causes my eyes to dilate.
A sense of familiarity envelops my body, after all, this barrel seems to be the same barrel I saw in my first hallucination in my dreams.
The color is almost the same, the darkness present makes the barrel have the same silhouette as in that dream, even the position from which I look at it seems to be the same as I was in that dream.
Then, exhaling slightly I take a step forward, then another, my body overwhelmed by fear soon becomes full of curiosity.
The closer I get the more I can see inside the barrel, The barrel itself doesn't look magical at all, it just is full of water.
After a couple of steps I finally get in front of the barrel, the water inside the barrel is moving slightly as if there are drops of water falling into the barrel every so often.
My reflection in the surface of the water, distorted by the movement of the water, looks slightly dark, it is very difficult to distinguish my face in that reflection.
My hand almost unconsciously moves to lightly touch the surface of the water.
"It's cold...", I mutter under my breath, the water seems to be on the verge of freezing, besides that, it doesn't seem to be any different from ordinary water.
"I remember that I was thirsty in my dreams..." I murmur with a slow mocking smile remembering my feelings when I saw this barrel in my dreams.
"Weren't you looking for an answer?, well, here is the answer," again a voice similar to mine echoes in the room, no longer in front of me, but it's as if the voice is coming from every corner of this bathroom.
Again I observe my surroundings without any success, my heart that was calming down slightly starts beating again with intensity, my breathing becomes faster, and my mind only seems to think of something.
"Escape...", with that thought running through my head I prepare to run as fast as I can to my room, however, it is impossible.
It feels like my body is under a ton of earth, the pressure I feel seems to slowly crush my body, compressing my limbs and making impossible for me to breathe.
With no control over my limbs I can only watch the reflection of the water, as my body slowly moves as if something is controlling it.
My body bends down, my head slowly lowers to the water inside the barrel, in the reflection I can see a sea of darkness behind me, a sea that moves with roiling waves and forces me to open my mouth to let the water from the barrel enter inside my mouth.
"You got it... it's been a long road... Why don't you try to go back to the way you were before?, just for a moment," a light whisper reaches my ears as the water rushes into my mouth.
Little by little my mind is collapsing and my mental clarity is fading.
...
Some days later...
"What's the real problem?"
"Actually, miss, the real problem perhaps is his mind, well..." there was a slight pause followed by an awkward silence.
"I'm not good at using magic, but some parts of his brain are different from how a normal person's brain should be, I've been trying to use some healing magic, but... well, it's impossible for me."
"Why?"
"Using magic to analyze a person's insides and using magic to heal is completely different, I can heal wounds easily, but, heal something that interferes with the human mind... is impossible"
"You..."
"Don't look at me that way, miss, it's disrespectful... the mind has simply been analyzed for just a couple of years in the realm, we don't even know a small part of how it works... so, with your permission, I must leave, but, I'll be back."
I can hear a slight silence in the room after that talk, if my memories don't fail me ,then one of the people involved in that conversation should be Kaero, but I don't seem to remember the other person's voice.
"You're a real problem..." Kaero mutters while placing her hand lightly on my chest, I, of course, am still going to pretend to be sleeping.
"Hmph..." Kaero mutters after a moment.
"Your other soul is still in a chaotic state, Dad could analyze you with much better accuracy, but... well, it's a shame," Kaero sighs, I can hear a faint sound of a chair and Kaero sitting on it, then she seems to just sit there, watching me.
Well, it's not like I can see her, so it's just my guess.
A moment later I open my eyes slightly, my back started to hurt due to a bad position.
Rising slightly to sit on the bed, my eyes meet Kaero's eyes.
A slight smile appears on Kaero's face who is sitting on a chair with a handrest.
Where did she get that chair?
"Hi... You woke up," Kaero expresses his happiness by giving me a white-toothed smile.
A slight expression of disappointment spreads across my face, I don't really know what to say, my mental state is not good, Kaero should know that.
"Actually..." I pause to observe my body and then let out a slight snort accompanied by a smile, "I don't know if I'm awake or not anymore...", I finish speaking making a resigned grimace.
"That... that's a little sad, but you're awake, I can assure you..." Kaero doesn't stop smiling as she speaks, "I can assure you because I'm here, Do you understand?, as long as I'm here, talking to you, you're awake, whatever that means for you..." she holds out her hands to let me get her point across.
My eyes widen slightly, watching Kaero's sincere smile, her face glowing brightly in the candlelight, and her kind disposition makes me unconsciously want to smile genuinely.
After a little chat with Kaero I found out what happened.
Apparently I was found in the barracks bathroom two days ago, according to the doctor, no apparent signs of visible damage were found on my body, however, I just wouldn't wake up.
The doctors said it could be due to a mental shock that caused my mind to go into a strange mode they called "false death mode", or something like that.
Then, for two days the head-doctor of the barracks was visiting me frequently, mostly looking to explore a peculiar case like mine.
According to Kaero, the head doctor said it was wonderful how my mind could enter a mode in which it preserved its main functions while shutting down consciousness.
But, an anomaly was found in my brain that the head doctor could not diagnose correctly, so he said it could be a malfunction or a birth defect.
Kaero said all that with a slight smile, however, it is easy to know that that smile is not real.
Observing Kaero, I can notice a slight sadness emanating from her, her eyes although lively let out melancholy, and her smile hides disappointment.
Suddenly, the sudden feeling that I have disappointed her overwhelms my mind, causing a slightly unpleasant pain to spread through my body.
But, Why?
I smile slightly at whatever reason for the emergence of this feeling of guilt.
"Kaero...," I whisper as I watch her smile.
"Tell me," Kaero seems predisposed to speak, she blinks as she rises from her chair and approaches my bed.
Seeing Kaero sad about my mental state makes the guilt inside me suddenly rise.
"I..." I squint for a moment, my body tells me to tell Kaero about what happened with Clarity, and about my dreams, however, my reason holds back those ideas borne out of sentimentality.
"I... actually, I'd like to know what's outside the barracks...", I make a random request that suddenly occurs to me.
Kaero looks a little confused before sighing, "Well, actually, outside there's just forest, we're surrounded by a forest that stretches for several dozen miles."
Kaero pauses, she seems to be a bit thoughtful, "I mean, this is a bit of a simple barracks, it's built in remote areas surrounded by forest mainly to avoid confrontation with enemy soldiers entering the kingdom as spies," Kaero mutters, but, she doesn't seem to be sure of her words.
"Who are we fighting against, I mean, the war, Who is the enemy?", I ask, this doubt recently arises in my mind like a nagging thorn.
"Demons of the void... they are, a little different from us humans, wherever they pass life is extinguished..." Kaero sits on the edge of my bed, she speaks with seriousness on her face.
After that, Kaero seems to sigh slightly before beginning to narrate several stories of what she know about the war.
Before I knew it several hours have passed, Kaero also seems to have lost track of time, only the rumbling of her hungry belly seems to have brought her back to reality.
"Ah...", Kaero moans slightly while blushing and rubbing her belly gently, she... she really looks like a little doll.