[System Alert: Critical Update In Progress…] Warning: Glitch Detected in Relationship Parameters!
It all started when I innocently opened the System menu to check my daily missions.
Keyword: innocently.
That's when the screen glitched. The interface blinked three times like it was having a nervous breakdown, then suddenly popped up with this abomination:
[Congratulations! You are now officially DATING Cynthia!]
"WHAT?!"
I nearly dropped my phone. Cynthia, who was sitting across from me sipping iced coffee like a serene demon goddess, raised an eyebrow.
"What now?"
"N-Nothing. Just got a weird notification…"
[Mission: Survive One Day As Cynthia's Boyfriend] Reward: Super Affection Boost + Stat Reset Coupon Penalty: Break Her Heart = -100 Affection & Public Breakup Announcement]
I stared at the penalty.
Public. Breakup. Announcement.
That could only mean one thing:
"I'm gonna die."
Fake Dating, Real Chaos
I tried to play it cool.
"Hey, uh, Cynthia… wanna, uh, maybe hang out later?"
She blinked.
"…Did you just try to ask me out?"
"Define 'try'?"
Cynthia narrowed her eyes like she was trying to laser-cut my soul.
"…Sure."
I choked. "Wait, really?!"
"Why not?" she shrugged. "Let's see what happens."
System: [New Side Quest Unlocked: Impress Cynthia With Your Nonexistent Boyfriend Skills]
The Totally Not-A-Date Date
We went to an arcade.
I thought it'd be low-risk, high-fun.
Wrong.
Turns out, Cynthia is an arcade monster.
She beat me at racing, shooting, dancing… even claw machines.
"Do you even need me here?" I asked, halfway into an existential crisis.
"No," she said. "But it's cute watching you fail."
System: [Shame Resistance +2]
Then came the photo booth.
"C'mon," Cynthia said. "It's part of the mission, right?"
"…How do you know about the mission?"
"I don't." She smirked. "But you're acting like someone with something to prove."
Click. Flash. Picture taken.
She kissed my cheek in the last shot.
I died.
Then resurrected with +10 Blood Pressure.
[Achievement Unlocked: Surprise Cheek Kiss] [Affection +15]
System Sabotage
Just when I thought I could make it through the day without the world imploding, Luna showed up.
"…You're on a date?" she asked, arms crossed.
"Technically," I said, panicking.
"Interesting." She smiled. "Then I guess I'll join."
"Wait, what—"
System: [System Glitch Detected: Harem Override Engaged] Event: Accidental Double Date Activated!]
Double Trouble
Now I was stuck holding two cotton candies, while Cynthia and Luna competed in a VR zombie game like it was a deathmatch.
Cynthia: "Winner gets to pick his next outfit."
Luna: "Loser buys dinner."
Me: "Do I get a vote?"
Both: "No."
I prayed for the zombies.
End of the Line
As the sun set, Cynthia and I walked along the riverbank.
"…Thanks," she said softly. "Today was… surprisingly fun."
"I didn't ruin it?"
"You did," she said. "But in a charming way."
She leaned on my shoulder.
[Mission Complete: Survive a Day as Cynthia's Boyfriend] [Reward Claimed: Stat Reset Coupon, Super Affection Boost]
Then the system pinged again.
[Bug Fix Initiated – Relationship Resetting…] Status: SINGLE]
"…Did it just break up with her for me?"
Cynthia's smile vanished.
She looked at her phone.
She looked at me.
"…So we're broken up now?"
"No! I mean yes! I mean the system did it, not me!"
She stood silently.
Then handed me a note.
[New Mission: Win Her Back] Reward: ??? Penalty: Emotional Damage x 100]
System, I swear to god—