It all began with an alert I should have ignored.
[Mission: Work at a Maid Café for One Day] Reward: +10 Popularity, Secret Bonus Item Penalty: Outfit Malfunction During Peak Hours]
A few questions. One: Why does the system keep forcing me into cosplay? Two: Why do all penalties involve public embarrassment? And three: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF MAID CAFÉ NEEDS A MALE MAID?!
I showed up anyway. Because of course I did. It was called "Moe Galaxy" and the manager handed me a frilly black-and-white outfit before I could even say, "I'm not putting this on."
System: [Equipped Item: Frilly Apron of Allure +2 Charisma]
Fantastic. The frills were laced with shame.
Ten minutes later, I was trying not to die inside while bowing to a table of giggling girls and saying, "Welcome home, my mistress~" in a pitch two octaves higher than my dignity.
"Ethan?!"
I froze. That voice.
I turned.
Luna. And Cynthia. Together. In line. Staring. Phones raised.
Snap.
Snap.
[Emergency System Alert: Your dignity has taken a critical hit. Initiating backup mission to avoid total social death.]
"Explain," Cynthia said flatly, while Luna giggled behind her hand.
"I'm undercover?"
Cynthia raised an eyebrow.
System: [Lie Detected. Generating New Mission: Convince Them This Is Part of a Super Secret Mission to Save the World] Reward: +3 Bluff, Avoid Humiliation Penalty: Cynthia Will Print Posters]
"I'm undercover!" I said louder. "There's… a smuggling ring! They use cafés as cover!"
Luna leaned closer. "Like… illegal tapioca balls?"
"Exactly."
Cynthia stared for a long moment. Then took a seat. "Fine. Then serve us."
"Wait what."
"You're working here, aren't you?"
Luna chimed in: "I want the parfait special. Extra whip."
System: [Sub-Mission Generated: Fulfill Their Orders Without Screwing Up] Reward: Cynthia's Hidden Smile, Luna's Giggle Loop] Penalty: Cafè-Wide Alarm Triggered by 'Customer Displeasure']
So now I was juggling parfaits, bowing like an idiot, and dodging literal cosplay bullets as a girl with a magical staff nearly took me out because I dropped her choco-latte.
Then… HE entered.
Tall. Lean. Flowing pink hair. Cat ears.
"Ethan, my sweet~ We meet again!"
No.
Not him.
Akira. The system's most chaotic wildcard. Technically a dude. Dresses like an idol. Voice smoother than jazz. Also convinced we're soulmates.
"Oh look, he's blushing," Akira cooed, sliding into my personal space. "Did you miss me?"
"I missed my will to live."
System: [New Mission: Survive Akira's Flirt Storm for 10 Minutes] Reward: Akira's Favor, +4 Luck Penalty: Kiss on the Cheek—Optional… maybe]
Ten minutes of hell followed. Luna laughed so hard she cried. Cynthia almost smirked. Almost. And I—
—I became a viral meme.