System: [New Mission: Survive a Day at the Beach with the Entire Harem – Without Dying of Embarrassment or Drowning in Fanservice] Reward: Summer Event Points (Used for Special Rewards) Penalty: Sunglasses Glued to Face for 72 Hours]
Me: "This feels illegal."
When I opened my eyes to a tropical paradise with white sand, crystalline waters, and a dozen overly eager girls in swimsuits, I knew two things:
One, this was 100% a system trap. Two, I had absolutely no resistance against swimsuit season.
"Welcome to the summer event, Host!" the System chimed cheerfully. "Don't forget the sunscreen! And the accidental harem hijinks!"
Before I could protest, Luna tackled me with a watermelon under one arm and a water gun in the other. "Last one in the water gets punished~!"
I was about to ask what kind of punishment—until Nari, in an impossibly snug one-piece, shoved me into the surf with a deadpan, "That's for making me wear this."
I resurfaced, coughing out seawater and dignity.
Akira waded over, holding two coconuts. "This place is paradise. Also, your nose is bleeding."
"Shut up."
"Just saying. You're not subtle, bro."
"System, reduce nosebleed probability!"
System: [Command Rejected. It's Fanservice Time.]
Cynthia lounged under a parasol with reflective shades and a drink. "Bet five bucks Ethan's unconscious in ten minutes."
"Bet he causes a scandal in five," muttered Sera, the aloof goth girl who absolutely refused to remove her parasol or her all-black swimsuit.
Meanwhile, Luna called for everyone to gather for a beach volleyball match.
"Losers have to take embarrassing photos with Ethan," she added with an evil glint.
I was suddenly everyone's number one teammate.
"Don't let that pervert touch the ball!" Nari shouted, spike-slamming directly at my face.
I caught it. With my nose.
System: [+1 Pain Resistance]
The crowd cheered. Cynthia took a selfie. Akira announced, "We're calling that move: The Nose Block of Destiny."
After a chaotic volleyball match (which we won thanks to Akira's surprise super jump technique and Cynthia's terrifying trash talk), Luna dragged me to the shade.
"You're surprisingly popular when half-naked," she noted.
"I'm also surprisingly sunburned. Help."
She applied sunscreen. Slowly. With what I swear was deliberate teasing.
"System," I hissed. "Put a barrier around my dignity."
System: [Dignity Barrier: Broken. Would You Like To Purchase One For 500 Points?]
Before I could scream, a new alert popped.
System: [Emergency Mission! Protect the Cooler of Secrets from Incoming Seagull Army!] Reward: +2 Strength, Unlock Hidden Dialogue Event. Penalty: All Ice Cream Melted.]
I blinked. "What—"
A wave of seagulls descended from the sky like feathery demons.
Cynthia yelled, "PROTECT THE ICE CREAM!"
Akira dove into the sand, rolled, and dropkicked a seagull. "NOT TODAY, SKY RATS!"
Nari sniped them with pebbles. Luna dual-wielded water guns. Even Sera conjured a beach umbrella shield like a gothic paladin.
I screamed, spun the cooler around, and sprinted down the beach while dozens of seagulls pursued me like I owed them rent.
System: [Mission Completed. You Have Unlocked Secret Event: Sunset Confession… With Random Girl]
Me: "Wait, what now?!"
The sun set. Everyone gathered around the bonfire.
Then, a voice beside me whispered, "So… this is kinda romantic, huh?"
I turned to see…
Nari.
Deadpan as ever.
But also blushing. Barely.
She shoved a marshmallow in my face. "Don't get ideas. But if you were to say something cheesy, now's the time."
"Uh…"
She glared. "Too slow. That's -10 charisma."
Cynthia howled with laughter. Akira handed me a ukulele. "Redemption arc starts now, buddy."
I strummed something vaguely resembling a romantic tune. Luna hummed along. Sera rolled her eyes. Nari stole my s'more.
System: [Hidden Bond Progress: +1 With Every Girl Present. Sunset Confession: Complete.]
I sighed, leaned back, and stared at the stars.
Was this heaven? Was this hell? Or was this just my life now?
Probably all three.