In the royal palace of Aetheria, Queen Alira had just received a report:
The mischievous boy who had tried to propose to her with a mango and a dance move had resurfaced—as a mysterious rice merchant. Her soldiers were already dispatched toward Mount Baka to investigate and possibly drag him back by his ankles.
But before the ink on her command could dry, another scroll arrived. This one bearing the golden seal of her family—urgent, personal, and heavy with destiny.
She opened it.
> "Mother, we are returning to Aetheria. All three of us."
Her daughters—Seria and Kaelin—and her only son, Prince Rael, were finally coming back to the kingdom after years of secluded training in far-off lands. And what's more, a legendary Grandmaster, a Mid Nascent Soul Realm cultivator known as Master Archeon, would be accompanying them to personally train the royal heirs.
The Queen paused.
Her fingers tapped the scroll thoughtfully. The rice merchant, Mount Baka, and her soldiers could wait. Her children's return and the Grandmaster's visit were far more important. So, she postponed her pursuit of "Uncle Baka" for now.
But she made one thing clear: "Keep watching the mountain. I want to know what's happening there."
Meanwhile, on Mount Baka…
Fengye was rolling in coins. Literal sacks of spirit stones and gold coins from selling Baka Rice to beauty-hungry nobles and glow-obsessed merchants.
He stood at the edge of his rice field, arms spread wide, cloak flapping behind him like a superhero whose powers included sarcasm and laziness.
"Loki," he grinned, "I think it's time we made this dump look like heaven."
Loki chimed in, "You mean time for redevelopment? Finally. I was getting tired of the haunted outhouse you call a hut."
A ding echoed.
> [New Quest Unlocked: Mountain Redevelopment Phase 1]
Objectives: Upgrade the hut, expand the rice field, unlock the Baka Bazaar!
Rewards: Furniture, defense mechanism, cultivation boost, and one rare item of Loki's choice.
Time Limit: 7 days.
Feng rubbed his hands. "Time to turn this haunted chicken hill into a resort!"
As he opened the System Shop, the screen flooded with items no sane cultivator should have access to—massage chairs, satellite TV, instant steam bath pods, and an auto-cooking spirit stove.
But before he could start shopping, the system flashed another notification:
> [Notice: All real-world money from Baka Rice has been automatically converted to Baka Points within the System Shop.]
Current Balance: 14,200 Baka Points
Note: Please don't ask for refunds. The exchange rate is emotional.
"Wait—WHAT?" Feng screeched. "You mean I can't even touch the money?!"
Loki smirked in his ethereal floating form. "Relax. You can't buy a pizza, but you can buy a cannon that shoots flaming cucumbers. Priorities, my friend."
Feng sighed. "Fine. Time to spend like a drunken war god."
As the first purchase—a golden toilet—descended from the sky with majestic music, Fengye knew only one thing:
Mount Baka was about to get bizarrely legendary.
Phase One: The Unseen Barrier of Baka
With 1,500 Baka Points itching to be spent, Fengye opened the System Shop and scrolled past options like "Summon a Chicken Army" and "Automatic Poop Dispenser for Enemies" before settling on something more practical:
"Mystic Barrier: Unseen Wall of Entry Denial" – 1,500 Points
Description: Blocks all unwanted visitors. Only the Mountain Lord (that's you!) may permit entry. Stops mortals, monsters, and door-to-door monks alike.
Fengye grinned. "Now we're talking!"
System: "Installing Barrier… Please do not run face-first into it."
He raised an eyebrow. "Why would anyone—"
WHAM! A wild boar ran full speed toward the entrance… only to bounce off an invisible force like it hit a divine frying pan. It somersaulted three times and crashed into a bush with a squeal.
Fengye whistled. "Ten out of ten. Instant karma."
Loki materialized beside him, floating like a smug soap bubble. "Ah, the joys of territorial narcissism. Congratulations, your lonely mountain is now VIP access only. No ticket? No entry. No pants? Still no entry."
"From this day forth," Fengye declared, hands on hips, "none shall pass without my royal decree. Except the rice. The rice stays."
A wooden sign appeared near the entrance with glowing golden letters:
> WELCOME TO MOUNT BAKA
Now Featuring: Invisible Rejection.
Phase Two: The Heavenly Hut Gets an Ego Lift
Fengye sat on his floating rice throne, swirling a cup of imaginary wine, and muttered:
> "System, I need a second floor. A place far, far away from normal people... and their smells."
System Notification:
"Request accepted. Initiating upgrade: Second Floor – Fengye Exclusive Mode: Activated."
Suddenly, the hut violently sneezed, shooting up a second floor like a pimple erupting during puberty.
Loki floated by in a banana-printed bathrobe. "...Did your house just hit puberty?"
> Fengye sipped from his coconut that wasn't even real.
"Let it grow, Loki. Like my power... and my taste in interior design."
New Features Included:
Ground Floor: For "guests" (a.k.a. freeloaders who'll probably break the furniture).
Sofas with limited bounce.
Beds that squeak loudly to shame people into behaving.
A toilet that judges users and occasionally yells, "Do better!"
Second Floor – VIP Only:
Velvet walls that whisper motivational quotes like "You're better than everyone" and "Fengye is love, Fengye is life."
A bed that massages your ego every time you lay on it.
Automatic doors that hiss "Peasant detected" if anyone but Fengye approaches.
A sign at the entrance:
"Mount Baka Presidential Suite – By Invite Only, Suckers."
Fengye stood on his new balcony, shirt blowing in the wind like a K-drama lead, shouting:
> "This is my kingdom! My sanctuary! My second floor!"
Just then, the toilet flushed itself downstairs, again.
Loki sighed. "Is it... laughing?"
Fengye nodded solemnly. "Yes. It knows fear is the beginning of respect."
Mount Baka Redevelopment – Phase Three: Field of Screams (and Grains)
As the sun rose over Mount Baka, Fengye stood proudly on his ridiculously upgraded balcony, sipping tea like a retired old cultivator with too much backstory.
Fengye: "System, today feels like a good day to force nature to work overtime. Let's expand."
Loki (System): "Oh great, here comes the capitalist farmer arc. What's next? Cow NFTs?"
With a thunderclap that sounded suspiciously like a sneeze, the system activated its "Agricultural Expansion: Absolutely Unfair Edition".
The once barren land stretched and twisted, forming two new fields—one shimmering golden, the other glowing green. A bold sign popped out of the ground:
> Wheat Field of Gluten Glory – For bread that slaps harder than your auntie's sandals.
> Magical Herb Garden – Warning: Some herbs may talk, explode, or demand to be addressed as "Sir Basil III".
Fengye (squinting): "Wait... are those herbs arguing about socialism?"
Loki: "You got the premium pack. Comes with sentient plants and at least one plant that tries to unionize."
Fengye walked into the field, nearly tripping over a wheat stalk that moaned, "Step on me, farmer-sama."
Fengye: "Alright, who coded these plants?"
Loki: "Blame version 3.0. I was drunk on ambrosia."
Moments later, a "Field Assistant Golem" spawned—basically a rock with googly eyes and a clipboard.
Golem: "Hello, Master! I shall help you with harvesting, planting, and judging your fashion choices!"
Fengye: "...Burn it."
And just like that, Mount Baka had evolved again: now producing super tasty rice, extra powerful wheat, and herbs that may or may not call the cops if you harvest them too rough.
Loki: "Just remember, kid… the fields may be fertile, but the danger is real."
Fengye: "You mean pests?"
Loki: "Worse. Magical tax collectors."
Phase Four: The Cultivation Chamber of Chaotic Ascension
(Located in Fengye's exclusive VIP second floor suite. Ground floor still smells like guests.)
---
After recklessly spending every last Baka Point, Fengye activated the pinnacle of personal luxury:
The VIP Cultivation Chamber
(Only accessible by the Mountain Lord himself. No guests, no pests, and definitely no pants allowed.)
---
Room Features:
Nestled within the second floor of Fengye's majestic two-story hut—because peasants don't cultivate like kings.
A glowing spiritual chamber with mysterious floating runes and an aura so thick it feels like a sauna with attitude.
A VIP-only golden lotus platform, which rotates and makes humming noises like it's judging you.
Mood lighting, adjustable via System voice command. Choose from:
"Heavenly Serenity"
"Cultivator's Wrath"
"I Forgot My Pants Again" (default)
---
Bonus Decorations:
Feng's motivational poster collection:
"One day, you too can punch a dragon."
"If pain makes you stronger, I must be invincible."
A plush golden pillow embroidered with "Property of Lord Fengye—No Entry Unless You're Hot."
---
System Notification:
> [Ding!] VIP Cultivation Chamber unlocked.
Begin training and ascension, or stare at the wall in dramatic silence. Your choice, O Baka King.
---
Fengye (puffing chest):
> "If I don't break through here, I swear I'll open a noodle shop instead. Cultivation is hard. Why can't it be like a gacha game?"