— Where priceless treasures are sold, but the real value is in the chaos they cause.
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Part 1: The Whispering Pavilion Auction House
High above the Skyjade Capital floated a colossal lotus-shaped palace, known as the Whispering Pavilion—a legendary auction house said to be founded by a retired Supreme Immortal who got bored of eternity and decided capitalism was the true Dao.
Wei Yun and his squad were invited as VIP Guests… by accident. Apparently, someone mistook their group name "Dao Defiance" for a royal title.
As they stepped into the opulent entrance, they were greeted by:
A red carpet woven from Phoenix tail feathers.
Waiters riding sentient trays.
Auctioneers with spiritual cultivation so high, their words alone could bankrupt kingdoms.
Tang Zhi was already sweating.
"Yun-ge… I accidentally sneezed on a vase worth three realms…"
Mu Yao calmly adjusted her sleeves. "We'll add it to your debt ledger."
Pan-Pan was munching on a roasted soul-chicken leg. "I'll auction off my belly if it pays off our entrance fee."
Wei Yun clapped his hands. "Team. This is a stealth mission. We bid, we get a few rare treasures, and we bounce before someone realizes we're broke."
System dinged:
> [Mission: Survive the Auction of Chaos. Optional: Win at least one treasure.]
[Warning: Ancient Cultivators, Young Masters, and Randomly Reincarnated MCs present.]
Wei Yun muttered, "Oh great, it's a Main Character Convention."
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Part 2: The First Bid – A Talking Sword with Trust Issues
The first item was revealed: a rusted sword with glowing eyes.
Announcer: "Behold! The Whispering Blade of Betrayal! It knows every lie you've ever told and insults you accordingly!"
The sword shrieked, "Nice haircut, you pathetic fraud!"
Everyone flinched.
An Elder from the Truth Dao Sect bid 900,000 spirit stones.
A prince from the Heavenly Honesty Clan yelled, "1 million!"
Wei Yun raised his hand. "1.5 million!"
Everyone turned.
Mu Yao hissed, "WE DON'T HAVE THAT!"
Wei Yun grinned. "Relax. We're not paying for it."
Tang Zhi: "...Huh?"
The hammer slammed.
> "SOLD—to the dashing rogue with debt in his eyes!"
The sword shrieked, "OH GREAT. I'M STUCK WITH YOU?"
Wei Yun picked it up. "You'll learn to love the dysfunction."
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Part 3: Cultivation Beef – Young Masters Attack!
Halfway through the auction, a burly, arrogant Young Master from the Eternal Gold Pavilion sneered.
"You peasants dare outbid me?"
Wei Yun: "Correction. I outbid you. They just watch."
Mu Yao: "...Sometimes cry."
The Young Master unleashed a Golden Aura of Debt Forgiveness, threatening to erase Wei Yun's existence and his bad credit.
Wei Yun countered with:
Technique: Immeasurable Shamelessness Style – Debt Transfer Palm!
Suddenly, the auction house ledger began writing in the Young Master's name.
"You owe… 1.5 million spirit stones," the sentient scroll whispered.
"WHAAA—?!"
He fainted.
Wei Yun bowed to the crowd. "And that's why you don't flex when broke."
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Part 4: Bidding War – The Cursed Teapot
Next up: A Cursed Teapot said to brew tea so strong, it reveals your past life mistakes.
Pan-Pan's eyes gleamed. "I must have it."
Wei Yun: "Do you even drink tea?"
Pan-Pan: "I have regrets to relive."
Bidding war commenced.
Opponents: An old ghost, a tea-obsessed fairy, and a guy in a bathrobe claiming to be the reincarnation of the Celestial Barista.
Pan-Pan roared, "I OFFER MY SOUL!"
System:
> [Insufficient funds. Please try a lower offer.]
Pan-Pan: "...I offer Wei Yun's soul!"
Wei Yun: "Denied!"
Tang Zhi suddenly appeared in a tutu and shouted, "I'll perform a tap dance for it!"
The auction house whispered, "Deal."
He danced. It rained spirit stones.
Pan-Pan won the teapot.
The moment he poured tea… he saw 67 past lives. All of them were chefs who died in cooking accidents.
Pan-Pan sobbed. "It all makes sense…"
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Part 5: The Final Item – The Box That Cannot Be Opened (Because It's Glued)
The stage rumbled.
A box floated up.
Announcer: "And now, the final item—THE MYSTIC LOCKED BOX! It has no key! No lock! No hinges! Not even Dao Sense works!"
Everyone gasped.
Wei Yun squinted. "Isn't that just... superglued shut?"
Mu Yao poked it. "Yup."
Tang Zhi: "This is definitely cursed."
Wei Yun: "Perfect. I'm bidding."
Everyone backed off.
He offered one Cursed Coupon of Returnable Fate, stolen from Chapter 17.
The box trembled.
> [ACCEPTED.]
It landed in his lap.
System:
> [You've obtained the Box of Obnoxious Destiny. It contains... a plot device.]
Wei Yun: "Of course it does."
Suddenly, a beam of light shot from the box.
A tiny, naked, gremlin-shaped old man appeared.
"I AM THE REINCARNATED IMMORTAL OF DESTINY! WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER?!"
Wei Yun blinked. "Can I return this?"
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Part 6: Escape and Glory
Security closed in.
The old gremlin was now screaming at the skies and demanding a sandwich.
The crowd was panicking.
Wei Yun turned to his team. "We've done enough damage. Time to bounce!"
They leapt out the window.
Tang Zhi summoned a flying chicken.
Mu Yao conjured wind platforms.
Pan-Pan was flying via the gremlin's beard.
As they soared away, the auction house exploded in sparkles. No one knew if it was a celebration or divine compensation.
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End of Chapter 28
> System Reward: Legendary Plot Coupon x1
System Penalty: You are now banned from 398 high-end auction houses across the realms.
Wei Yun: "Add it to the list."
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Coming Next – Chapter 29: