Chapter 3: "Dungeons, Drama, and Spinal Trauma"
Alt title:Great Power Comes with Great… Splat.
Scene:Deadpool's just finished his ramen (stolen, obviously), when—
[DING!]
New Quest Generated!
Quest Type: Emergency
Title:Clear the Dungeon Break!
Objective: Eliminate the ogres terrorizing Yeongdeungpo District
Reward:– 1 Random Lootbox– +10 Stat Points (assignable)
Failure Penalty: Civilian deaths, public trauma, maybe bad Yelp reviews.
Deadpool blinks.
"Okay, couple things. One: this world has literal quest pop-ups. Two: I love lootboxes. Three: why does this sound like the opening to a really bad K-drama?"
Cut to: Near the gate.People screaming, ogres smashing cars, classic dungeon-break energy.
A group of low-rank Hunters are already trying and failing to hold the line. Then…
BAM.
Deadpool crashes the scene—literally—landing on top of a flipped taxi, swords drawn, arms wide like a WWE wrestler.
"FEAR NOT, CITIZENS! For I—Deadpool, regenerating legend, chimichanga connoisseur, and all-around sexy anti-hero—have arrived!"
Cue heroic pose.
The ogres don't even flinch. One of them—ten feet tall, built like The Rock with tusks—just smashes him with a club like he's a fly.
BOOM.
Deadpool flies through the air, ragdoll-style, smashes through a parked car's windshield, dents the entire car in, and crumples onto the sidewalk.
Silence.Civilians stare. The few Hunters watching wince.
One teenager: "Dude. He's dead. He has to be dead."
The ogres pause, tilting their heads like confused dogs.
Then—
Deadpool groans.
"Ow. Okay. Note to self: ogres hit like ex-wives with unpaid alimony."
He sits up, his spine making some very not-okay noises. Bones realign. Skin regenerates. Suit stitches itself (sort of).
He waves at the crowd.
"Still alive! No need to clap, but if someone could Venmo me for the car damage, that'd be great."
Even the ogres look thrown off. One actually shrugs. Another points at Deadpool like, should we kill that guy again?
Deadpool cracks his neck.
"Alright, big boys. Round two. But this time... I'm hitting back."
Cue katana draw. Time for some chaos.